Life just seems to get better and better, but there are some things that
still drive me crazy. They should be abolished in 1999.
Politically correct traffic signs:
A new “yield” sign went up in crosswalks around town that is as complicated as a multi-
frame comic strip. It features the conventional walking person on a yellow background,
but so as not to offend the disabled, also a picture of a guy in a wheelchair. Did
the sign maker think cars would stop for a pedestrian, but run over a guy in
a wheelchair? Not to ignore the visually impaired lobby, the sign features
yet another image of a man and a seeing-eye dog. There’s no chance a driver
could take this all in. This is leftist politics masquerading as safety.
National Public Radio’s NASA coverage:
Why does this federal propaganda arm think listeners want to hear Bob Edwards read
press releases from the most wasteful government agency, day after day after day? It’s
especially bad when one of those space contraptions is shot up in the air, spewing
taxpayer dollars out its end. We get every detail, from how the weather will
affect the timing of the landing to how the space clowns slept last night.
Paper coffee cups:
Fancy shops think nothing of charging 4 bucks for a cup of coffee, and serving it in a
burn-your-hand paper cup. Yet decades ago, a new invention had already solved the
problem of hot beverages. It’s called Styrofoam, but some eco-crazies announced to the
world that this miracle substance is hard on Mother Earth (they’ve since been proven wrong).
Demand Styrofoam! When the lady gives you a lecture on the environment,
demand 4 more paper cups so your hand won’t burn. Perhaps if we all do this,
we’ll take care of an annoying social problem. By the way, how have
Styrofoam takeout boxes escaped the green Gestapo?
You go to a movie to be entertained, not lectured by left-wing puritans. “A Bug’s Life” is
the model. Instead, most movies are riddled with absurd claims about the evil of
corporations, the religious right, the South, and white men in general. Casting can be
particularly absurd, as when all nuclear physicists and mathematical geniuses are played
by actors chosen for affirmative-action reasons.
The political left:
They tell us they’re against “sexual harassment” in the workplace. Then they defend the
Harasser-in-Chief because he promotes their statist agenda. They tell us they’re for peace.
Then they root for a bloody war in hopes that it will distract us from their hero’s
hypocrisy. They tell us they’re for privacy, then they attempt to reconstruct our private
thoughts on every conceivable topic, from religion, to race, to sex.
They should get their story straight or shut up.
It’s generally true that the leaders of any ideological movement stand to the left of the
grass roots, for reasons I’ve never been able to discover. But within Republican circles,
this tendency is turned into a hard-core principle. Most Republicans I know want to
abolish the income tax, de-fund the executive branch, restore states’ rights, and
otherwise torch Washington, D.C.. Republicans leaders, on the other hand,
seem to think their main job is to keep the passions of the grass roots in
Thanks to a Chicago group called Voices in the Wilderness, some Iraqi children got
medicine and toys this Christmas. But guess what?
The Clinton administration is threatening them with fines and jail. The
framers were adamant: we should have trade with all, and entangling
alliances with none. Sanctions enabled the communists to come to power in
South Africa, continue to prop up Castro in Cuba, brought about a permanent
state of war with Iraq, and empower the Clinton regime to crack down on good
people trying to do the right thing. Down with all sanctions everywhere.
The U.S. flag:
Yes, Old Glory. Once it stood for freedom. But did you notice when the FBI planted it in
the ashes at Waco? The flag has become a symbol of government tyranny. Just to make a
point, I’d like to see more flying of state and local flags. In my town, popular flags
include seasonal ones with happy snowmen and magnolia blossoms, and banners with the
school mascot on them. That’s much better. And shame on the Justice Department for
attempting to demonize that grand emblem of liberty, the “Don’t Tread on Me”
The White House has taken it on the chin this year, accelerating a much needed decline
in the status of the presidency in American life. But sadly, judges seem more powerful
than ever. Judicial precedent has turned every complaining employee and customer into
an agent of the central state, lording it over private institutions at every turn.
There’s a way around this, until we can impeach all the judges: stop filing
lawsuits. Real Americans use private arbitration if they have a conflict
with their neighbor.
Middle East news:
We interrupt this program to bring you an urgent news bulletin: the peace process, it’s on,
it’s off, it’s on again, it’s off again. How long have these people been fighting each other?
3,000 years? They’ll probably fight another few thousand, but it doesn’t affect the rest
of us. Leave them alone to sort it out. By the way, has anything interesting happened in,
say, Belgium, in the last decade?
Aside from these things, and a few others I’ll think of later, I’m
having a very happy new year, and look forward to a wonderful 1999.