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How can parents raise virgins these days?
Posted By Jon Dougherty On 02/10/2000 @ 1:00 am In Commentary | Comments Disabled
“If a young girl has multiple boyfriends she must be easy.”
“If a young man has no girlfriend, he must be weird or gay.”
“It is unreasonable to expect kids to abstain from sex.”
“It’s okay for boys to have multiple dates, but not girls.”
“Just do it.” (Nike’s trademarked slogan.)
“You know, there was just no way to prevent my daughter from having
sex and getting pregnant.”
“That boyfriend of hers is responsible for this!”
“God says your body is your temple and you should respect it.”
“If I banned him from seeing her, he’d just sneak around behind my
back and do it anyway.”
With so many mixed messages floating around today in America’s pop
culture, how in the world are parents supposed to raise virgins?
The government passes out material on homosexuality and condoms in
our public schools, but prosecutes teachers for having sexual
relations with our kids.
Hollywood stars line up on daytime talk shows to preach advocacy of
liberal programs “for the kids,” but behave like morons and derelicts in
their own lives.
Just yesterday, the New York Post reported that rap star Big Pun died
from a heart attack. (He was, like, 650 pounds.) The usual tripe
followed from his friends: “He really was a gentle giant,” and “Never a
nicer person would you meet,” and “He was a decent guy,” they all said.
Yet, the album cover of his first album — released last year and sold
into double platinum — showed the “gentle giant” cupping his hands over
a naked model’s breasts, grinning.
This guy had a wife and three young children; you really think such a
portrayal shows respect for his wife, or that his young children would
never see that CD cover?
How about star Rene Russo? This attractive woman had become a
huge A-list Hollywood star and had never posed naked in a movie.
In a recent interview, she said her Christian faith had kept her from
delving that low into the gutter of hedonistic morass. Yet in her
latest film, which she played opposite Pierce Brosnan in The Thomas
Crown Affair, she bared all during several sex scenes, overcoming her inhibitions and,
obviously, her beliefs, for the audience and, no doubt, for the bucks.
For months U.S. corporations have increasingly attacked gun rights in
this country — publicly including anti-gun messages in their ads and
adopting anti-gun petitions for their youthful customers to sign. Yet,
these same companies don’t mind selling sex as a fashion statement,
having young male and female models staring luridly out at viewers of
ads for everything from painted-on jeans to footwear to tops and shirts.
Message: Guns and, in particular, gun rights, are bad but looking
good so you can have a meaningless sexual romp is okay.
Even in some parochial private religious schools, students are shown
pop culture movies and videos as “part of the learning process,” while
at the same time administrators try to maintain a facade of
respectability by imposing dress codes, conduct codes and detentions for
inappropriate behavior. That’s hypocritical and again, it sends
conflicting messages to kids who are at impressionable ages.
With so much pop culture aberrance, so many conflicting signals, so
much hypocrisy, so much public and government endorsement of same and so
few willing to do anything but complain about it, how in the world are
parents supposed to raise decent, fair-minded and respectable virgins in
If you complain about these things to the media or the entertainment
industry, they shove the First Amendment in your face. They may be right
about the freedom of expression thing, but I don’t want to hear these
hypocrites on national TV complaining about violence, hedonism and
cultural rot if they’re not willing to accept at least partial
responsibility and tone their messages down.
If you complain about these things to liberal leviathan government,
you’re told that “We’re doing everything we can and we understand your
concerns.” Yet legislators, bureaucrats and even presidents will pass
laws and regulations that turn decency on its head — then blame the
failures of our children on parents. How many times have you
heard that hypocrite Bill Clinton preach to us about moral
responsibility, knowing he has nailed nearly every woman he has ever
met, disrespected his wife and child repeatedly, and used the White
House as a cat house?
If you complain about these things in the local public forum, there
is never an absence of parents and community leaders willing to call you
“unrealistic,” “right-wing extremist,” “religious zealot,” or even a
Nazi. Yet these same people will gather month after month to try to
figure out what’s wrong with our kids and our society these days — then
blame most of the problems on parents.
Too many parents are willing to be scapegoats for this rotted
cultural sewer we live in. We shouldn’t accept that, especially when we
know we’re trying to do a good job with our kids but get slapped down at
every turn by officialdom and irresponsible, hypocritical people.
As I said in yesterday’s column, it’s time to “just say no” to this. If you say you “can’t do it,” then
you won’t do it. And we’ve failed yet another generation of
children who will someday soon be responsible for leading the rest of
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