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Many of you out there are going to get mad at me for writing this column.
You’re the folks who get frustrated when I don’t write about “serious” stuff
every day.

I know. I know. The world’s going to hell in a handbasket, and I need to
stand watch daily with a bucket of cold water. I’m not ever supposed to have
any fun — to relax, let my hair down and tackle a topic for pure
entertainment purposes.

Well, you folks can leave right now. Thanks for the pageview. Come back
tomorrow when we resume the process of saving the world. Today we’re going
to talk about why Rush Limbaugh should fill the vacancy in the broadcast
booth on ABC’s “Monday Night Football.”

Consider this an open memo to Don Ohlmeyer at ABC.

In case you’ve missed it, the whole nation is talking about the
possibility of Rush filling the position. In other words, even without
actually getting the job, Limbaugh has brought great exposure and publicity
to “Monday Night Football.”

Personally, I have never watched “Monday Night Football.” I don’t like
football. I love baseball. I like basketball. But I stopped being interested
in football some time after the 1969 Joe Namath Superbowl. (Am I dating
myself?)

So, you might ask: “Well, Farah, why should anyone listen to your
opinions about a ‘Monday Night Football’ host? What credibility do you have
in weighing in on this subject? You’re not even a fan!”

That’s right. And that is precisely why my opinion should be considered
by ABC executives.

I represent the vast potential audience of Americans who don’t yet watch
“Monday Night Football.” And I tell you unequivocally that I will watch
“Monday Night Football” if — and only if — Rush Limbaugh is in the
broadcast booth.

Why? Because Rush Limbaugh is one of the greatest entertainers on the
planet today. All of the “controversy” about this decision is so silly. Rush
Limbaugh doesn’t want to get into the “Monday Night Football” broadcast
booth so he can do political analysis. He wants the job because it will be
fun for him and fun for viewers. He’s a multi-talented broadcast
professional who loves football and knows it inside-out.

Yes, Rush Limbaugh is a conservative political analyst as well as being
one of the funniest men on the planet. But so what? Was Howard Cosell any
less controversial than Rush Limbaugh? I don’t think so. In fact, I am
certain Limbaugh has a far bigger natural constituency of fans than any
person who has ever occupied the “Monday Night Football” broadcast booth.

This is what the Rush Limbaugh skeptics do not understand. Rush is much
bigger than a conservative political analyst. He’s a great broadcaster who
happens to be a conservative. I don’t agree with Rush on everything. I
sometimes passionately disagree. But he makes me think, and he makes me
laugh.

What else can you ask for? Rush, in my mind, for all his success, is one
of the least understood media personalities in the world. Many in the
national media see only his political views. They are missing the forest for
the trees. Rush is a genius — a comic genius and a gifted talk-radio
prodigy.

I compare his entertainment instincts with those of Jackie Gleason. His
timing is impeccable. His impersonations hysterical.

He has 20 million people who tune into his program every week. Of that 20
million, many are like me — football agnostics. There is no way I could
ever be seduced into watching “Monday Night Football” for the sake of the
game. I have no interest. Nor do I have the time to develop an interest in
another sport. Sports takes time. And I don’t have it.

But, as I said, I would watch “Monday Night Football” with Rush Limbaugh
for pure entertainment value. I know he would be good. I know he would be
entertaining. I know he would be funny. Curiosity alone would bring millions
of new fans to “Monday Night Football” with Rush Limbaugh doing color.

So, what on earth is ABC waiting for? Clearly Rush is not interested in
this job for the money. He has more money than he knows what to do with.
He’s interested in doing something he loves. And, when Rush Limbaugh does
what he loves — entertain people — there is always magic.

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