Whew! I’m still trying to crawl out from under the massive pile of e-mails I got as a result of last

week’s column,
which for all those of you who didn’t read it (shame, shame) talked about the perils of witchcraft. The first thing I noticed about the letters was their sheer length. Good God — these little Wiccans are a yappy bunch. Of course, I stopped reading after about three lines (booooring), but I still didn’t fail to be amazed and amused.

Just about 99 percent of the mail I got was from angered, maddened, hot-under-the-collar and otherwise foaming-at-the-mouth witches (who fancy calling themselves Wiccans — as if that makes their little cult into a bona fide religion). Spelling and punctuation are as received — enough said.

The second characteristic common to the Wiccan’s letters is the sheer whininess of their diatribes. These guys (all of whom like to call themselves by names like Galadriel, Ravenswolfe and other Tolkienish sounding names) are the biggest bunch of babies I’ve ever run into in my life.

You don’t like us. Wah, wah, waaaah. We HATE you (yes, many of them expressed this sentiment). Wah, wah, waaaaah.

Aw, I’m shattered.

Anyhow, gang, I could say a lot more, but I don’t wanna waste good space here. I want you guys to get a dose of this stuff yourself. I think you’ll agree that these witches are one of the most pathetic bunch of losers as you’d ever come across.

And so, without further ado, let us present (assembled here unedited for your reading, perhaps guffawing, pleasure) the attack of the weenie, whiny, wimpy, (fill in your own), woozy, wicky, wacky, Wiccan babies.

Subject: Witches

Mr. Goldman,

I despise your misogynistic, midianite volcano god. I am certain ‘he’ as you perceive him hates witches. And women, for that matter, unless they are of the submissive, masochistic type. The misogynistic murdering tribes of proto-Hebrews who brought him down to persecute and destroy the Caananites for personal gain (their land) certainly used such cant phrases as those found in the Old Testament to justify raping and murdering innocent women and children, and forcing other women into slavery and prostitution. What they did in Canaan is the same thing done in America to the Native Americans. In fact, the Old Testament was used to justify that invasion.

Pagans do not believe in your god. We are not Christians. We do not belong to the Judeo-Christian-Muslim tradition. We don’t care what your book says about us. Your book can call us evil on every page without changing our minds about our own worth. You can’t have a worse opinion about us than we have of hate-mongers like yourself.

Thousands if not millions were killed during the Inquistition, most NOT pagan but practising Christians. Hate filled speeches like your article caused this type of hysteria back then.

I notice that you can’t seem to separate women, lesbians and homosexuals. I pity your wife/mother/daughter.

I think you might concentrate a little more on the New Testament, Mr. Goldman. Might make your life a little happier.

Cheri Kovak

Subject: Comment

You and Mugabe have a lot in common. You are both angry, filled with hate and display fascists behavior. Interestingly, there isn’t any hatred in the Wiccan religion towards those of other beliefs. In fact, for the most part Wiccans are quite kind and loving. For the record, I majored in both anthropology and history. The study of various religions has been a lifetime interest. There isn’t any proselytizing in the Earth-based religions. The Judeo-Christian religion was/is very anti-women and at times, racist. Perhaps this hatred of others turns off the youth of today. The world has enough paranoia and hate in it. People, especially the young are seeking a more loving creator/creatrix. I just feel very sorry for you, Mr. Goldman. Your picture even looks very angry. Lighten up. So you found something that works for you. Fine. Leave others to find their own path –“Judge Not!”

Paul Baker

Subject: Zealot or Feedom

Hello just read a few of your articles, the one that really disturbed me was your Idea on witchcraft. You claim to be a man of god preaching his gospel and speaking of truth, however you dont seem to practice it very well. What ever happened to Love thy neighbor, do not judge lest ye wish to be judged? I have been pagan for 18 years, it all started back in Catholic School, catholism by day and coven by night. There was a group of us in school that started our own coven. Just like any other religion there is good and bad aspects. Yes there can be a darkside to witchcraft, but that aspect doesnt reflect upon wicca. How do I know? Well I’ve seen the dark and its darker than anyone could imagine, until I found wicca and the light. There i have found a better more loving and caring faith. We do not persacute people for their beliefs or for there sexual orientation, we accept all for who they are including you xtians. We are not all woman or homosexual males, I for one am not gay, i am a male heterosexual and so are the majority I know. A recant of your article is expected, It has been forward to the Witches Anti Inflametory league.

Many Blessing
Rev. Hockney
High Priest of the Lord and lady

Subject: The Truth

Mr. Goldman,

You may be able to peddle this hate filled drivel to the masses of fundamentalist christians. These fools will buy any and all lies that are told to Them without regard to the Truth. The problem that is most prevalent is that you quote from a bastardized version of the text. I would challenge you to look to the Torah and show in the original Hebrew or Aramaic that actual shows anything of the kind. I know the result there is no reference because this is the fevered dreams of King James of England. He spent years rewriting the Bible to meet his perverse needs. Stick to research into a subject you understand. For the record you are far from a Demon Hunter if you ever met the “evil” spirits that are collectedly known as Demons face to face they would rip you open and ingest your entrails and not blink an eye.

Remember this ” Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup”

Christopher Morris
Wiccan Priest Legally Ordained since 1990

Subject: Your article on World Net

Dear Mr. Demonhunter

Being a Wiccan, I don’t believe in hell. This troubles me at the moment, since it deprives me of the pleasure of imagining you rotting there. How dare you publish such a vile attack on someone else’s religion? It’s times like this that I also regret being something of a free speech absolutist, since I have to admit that you have the right to publish this. Of course, this also gives me right to call you sick.


Greg Weller

Hoping sincerely, that if I am wrong and there is a hell, that you burn there for all eternity.

Subject: Rolling my eyes in a bored fashion

~*~Wondering if you think for yourself at all. When you use the restroom, do you sit in accordance to old text from the bible? Are you certain you’re breathing the biblical way? When you have sex… are you sure you’re doing it right? You do seem to have ‘non independant thought’ part down. Bravo on that, not to mention your judgements. Do pardon me, I think it is the demon talking. I am all for free speech, however I was curious on one thing. However did you manage to turn on your computer? Was it difficult? Did you have help? Were you able to figure out what the keyboard was for in record time? Don’t bother responding, I know how difficult it is to come up with conversation that you had to look up in your bible. I don’t believe in your god, I think the bible makes for boring bedtime stories, so basically you are laughable, and your empty words will fall upon someone who really doesn’t give a crap. I am merely writing because I am bored as all hell.~*~

Subject: You’ve got to be kidding!!!

You are a sick, sick man and you know nothing of our religion. The rule WE live by is “as long as it harms no one, do what you will.” Your religion has a rule too: “Thou shalt not kill.” And yet you call yourself a “demon-hunter”, one who “will not suffer a witch to live.” Witches are people too, so how do you reconcile those differences of your divine laws? Besides that, whatever happened to letting God do his own work without your “assistance”? What makes you think that an all-powerful, all-knowing deity would EVER need the help of a puny, weak human like you and those of your ilk? Perhaps you should learn something else from the religion your profess to believe in: love thy neighbor (witches included) as thyself. If God thinks we’ve done wrong, I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough. WITHOUT YOUR “HELP”.

Kysanthe Ravenwind

Subject: Regards

I hate you. I dont know you, but I hate you. Your pathetic view of a God driven world make me sick. You are a small, simple man. You waste your life believing in something that doesnt exist. Your “God” is nothing but a creation from mankind’s mind. I dont know you… but I hate you.

You guys had about enough of this? I mean, yeah — it’s mildly amusing. But it gets old real quick. I kinda think that last one says it all, don’t you? I wish I could say I feel sorry for these guys, but the truth is, I don’t. Everybody gets a chance at truth, and if you decide to take the other road, you pay the price. Period. Bottom line is, these guys can babble for all eternity in hell … and you know what?

Nobody’ll be listening.

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