I remember my childhood days in the early ’70s when my friends and I would get together in their basement and play “house.” I would be the daddy and my friend Lynn would be the mommy. Her younger sister Claire would be our little girl. A 4 foot by 4 foot miniature vinyl Barbie playhouse was our “home sweet home.” It was a great time of make believe and pretend, fantasizing what the “real thing” would be like one day. Deep down, I really had a secret crush on Lynn and loved playing house with her, more than she ever knew. Besides, it took me away from the unstable family life I had at home of a real mommy and daddy who both drank and fought much of the time.
Many years later as an adult in the early ’90s, I remember lying in bed together with my partner on a Tuesday night. Tuesday night was TV night for us. We’d both come home from work and after dinner, clean up and put on a pot of coffee. Then we would get into some comfy T-shirts and cuddle up with each other as we watched “Roseanne” and our other favorite shows. After the 11 o’clock news, we’d do some sit-ups, turn off the lights and peacefully fall asleep in each other’s arms. I clearly remember listening to the sounds of the crickets with a cool breeze blowing through our slightly opened windows. Our bedroom was filled with the romantic pale light of the moon and the star-studded New England night sky.
As I look back at that time in my life, I remember exactly how I felt. We had it all. We were on top of the world. A beautiful home, a dog, two cats, great friends and a loving, long-term, committed “storybook” relationship. No doubt, we were going to be partners for life. OK, so it wasn’t exactly as I pictured it years earlier with Lynn and Claire, but hey, he was the man of my dreams.
As I sit here now typing, burning the midnight oil, I hear those crickets outside my window. I can see that same pale moon resting in that same star-filled New England sky. My two little children are both fast asleep after daddy prayed with them and read them “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.” My beautiful wife also is sleeping tranquilly after reading her Bible and saying her prayers. She prays on her knees every night for our family members, as well as countless other families and friends across the country whose loved ones are entrapped in the homosexual lifestyle.
As I look back on all those years of Tuesday TV nights with my boyfriend, I realize the homosexual lifestyle was a deceitful counterfeit of the “real” thing. My partner and I were like the children in my childhood of days gone by. We were two men who thought we had the world in the palm of our hands – when in fact, we had nothing at all. We were two lost souls, living in a world of make believe – two emotionally hurting boys playing house, desperately clinging onto each other night after night, week after week, year after year.
As homosexual men and women across the country strive for their “special rights,” civil unions and ultimately same-sex marriages, I can attest firsthand these individuals are making every attempt to resolve their inner homosexual conflict. These are feelings, thoughts and actions most have had ever since childhood. Many have hidden and suppressed their homosexual feelings for so long, until they finally gave in and “came out” to the world. Their inner struggle for self-acceptance has turned into a misguided outward struggle for civil rights. With each battle won on local, state and federal levels, their pillage is America’s acceptance and tolerance. While they fill their storehouses with their vain plunder, they tirelessly continue their unending life-long search for their “holy grail”: self-acceptance. No matter how hard they search or how long they try, I’m afraid it is something that will never be found.
Homosexuality is clearly an outward expression of things going on much deeper in a person – issues for many originating back to their childhood.
For homosexual men, in most all cases it has everything to do with a lack of relationship with the father. For women, the problem can rest with the mother and/or father or another male figure. For some, molestation or a premature sexual experience was the lead in to the homosexual lifestyle. Whatever the factors may have been to drive someone down that unwanted homosexual path, we must remember one thing: No one was born homosexual. To state such a fact is a tragedy, as well as cop out.
Just as no one is born an alcoholic or a drug addict, the same must be said of the homosexual. “Issues” are what bring a person down these lonely, painful paths – issues when finally dealt with will allow the person to come out of their destructive behavior. You don’t need to be a psychologist to figure this one out.
In 1992, I became a Christian, accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. When I fully understood the forgiveness God extended to me through the atoning blood of Jesus Christ, I realized the life-changing power that lay within this efficacious act. I knew that the forgiveness that was so graciously given to me now needed to be extended by me to someone else who needed it just as much: my father.
After 28 painful years of a damaged relationship with the one man whose love I craved and desired the most, my many years of wandering and numerous homosexual encounters came abruptly to an end.
It happened one morning in my parents’ kitchen. My father and I did something we never really did before – we talked. We both dealt with the past, we vented, we questioned, we understood and we healed. And in an emotional embrace I’ll never forget, we both did something else: We forgave. I have never been the same man since.
In a single moment of time, the doors to my painful childhood were slammed shut once and for all, never to be opened again. My homosexual needs and desires were gone and I was changed. Completely. My heavenly Father showed me by example what I needed to give to my earthly father. I crossed that fearful heterosexual threshold that so many other brave men and women in my shoes have done before me. And in doing so, I found something I never could have imagined – the cure for homosexuality. Forgiveness.
Our acceptance and tolerance of the ever-growing homosexual deviancy in America today is really a paradox. You see, we are actually committing a grave injustice toward these misled men and women. We’re not helping these people by affirming them, but actually hurting them even further. By enabling them to remain emotionally stunted and trapped in their pasts, we as a society play a major part in keeping them from their potential futures. And according to the Bible, as a nation, our acceptance and tolerance of homosexuality will keep us from our potential future as well.
I’ve found the cure for homosexuality. Forgiveness. Share it with your “gay” and lesbian friends. Give them some food for thought.
No doubt I am on a mission today: to bring the truth about homosexuality to the world – that no one is born homosexual, it has everything to do with the childhood, and complete change is possible. Completely possible. From the calls that are coming in weekly around the country from homosexual men and women themselves, I can tell you, this message is making a major impact … one forgiving heart at a time.
Stephen Bennett is a Christian recording artist and commentator who is featured nationally on radio, television and print. He is emerging as one of the nation’s key speakers on “coming out” of homosexuality. For further information, visit http://www.SBMinistries.org.