I had to laugh when I caught Ms. Garofalo’s little debate with Brian Kilmeade on Fox News the other day. It reminded me of some of the more clueless hate mail I receive from time to time. She refused to answer direct questions but instead responded with questions of her own, denied easily verifiable fact and became quite emotional when presented with an obvious historical parallel. I will say that she did a little better than Ms. Streisand would have, though, as she didn’t confuse Iran with Iraq.

And then, there was the ludicrous lie, which scored a solid 7.5 on the Goebbels scale by claiming 32 million members for the anti-war group Win Without War. Just to put this in perspective, the largest Protestant denomination in the country, the Southern Baptist Convention, has 16 million members. Given that the current U.S. population is only about 290 million people, this figure is clearly absurd, even more so than the 600,000 claimed for the recent peace protest which was only inflated by a factor of 10.

I’m not saying that one cannot be in principled opposition to the ongoing war, but you certainly can’t do it Ms. Garofalo’s way – not if you want to retain any shards of intellectual integrity. Stick a fork in her, she’s done.

The most amusing thing about the whole situation is that celebrities like Ms. Garofalo are becoming rather defensive about their right to hold an opinion. Of course you have a right to speak out, poor darling, but those of us who have actually read more than six books in our lives have the right to tell you that your opinion is baseless nonsense as we laugh at you.

It’s nice to see that the administration is finally starting to admit to the war’s real purpose, which involves replacing the Arab monarchies and dictatorships with governments capable of ending their support for international terrorism. For 30 years, America’s leaders looked the other way and hoped for the best as Arab terrorists wreaked general havoc across Arabia, Asia, Africa and Europe and murdered hundreds of Americans in the process. Now, President Bush is planning to put a cocked and loaded gun at the head of every Arab country in the form of a conquered and occupied Iraq. Do you think Saudi Arabia will still find it so hard to crack down hard on murderous Islamists once there’s 200,000 U.S. soldiers sitting across the border ready to go al-Qaida hunting? I don’t.

The one thing it isn’t about is the oil. Follow me on this, it’s not rocket science. What do we pay for oil? Dollars. They send us oil and we give them dollars. And where do dollars come from? The Fed creates them – $10.348 billion worth in reserve credit just last week, which, thanks to the reserve requirement, means that banks were able to lend out $103.48 billion of money that did not previously exist. That $100 billion goes to pay for a lot of things, including all the oil that the oil companies wish to import. The oil companies then sell the oil, and book the difference between the selling price and the cost of the oil plus the low-interest cost of the loan as profit.

As long as the world operates on the dollar standard of exchange and foreign investors continue to buy federal debt, America won’t fight for oil simply because it is essentially free to us as a nation. Furthermore, wouldn’t it be a lot easier to simply drill in the ANWR than go to all the trouble of sending troops halfway around the world? It’s not about the oil … it never was.

Note: the title of this piece is a Hollywood homage to Al Franken’s book on Rush Limbaugh. As some of you have noted, I can usually do much better than “short fat idiot” when dropping vitriol.

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