“Saddam, why did you disappear?”
Response: “I decided to destabilize the enemy by splitting up his search parties.”
Saddam Hussein may be out of power in Iraq, but his legacy is still alive among Internet jokes being passed around by Arabs in Egypt.
According to the Al-Majallah newspaper, the fall of Baghdad has given rise to humor, reflecting the shock and disappointment of people who thought Iraq would offer greater resistance.
It reportedly began with a message asking people to check CNN for Saddam’s resignation – on condition that he live in the White House. Then other messages featured a photo of the dictator with a caption reading “Seeking employment pending fall of regime.”
Al-Majallah says some of the jokes were in question and answer format:
- Saddam asks Bin Laden, what do I do when it’s over? Bin Laden said: Hide in a cave, record some tapes and send them to Al-Jazeera.
- Saddam, how are you going to hang the Americans from the walls of Baghdad? Saddam says: I didn’t mean the city, I meant underground Baghdad.”
The Iraqi information minister Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf, better known as “Baghdad Bob,” is even featured in some of the jokes.
- Have you heard the one about Saddam and Sahhaf on the banks of the Tigris? A man on the other side raises two fingers in a victory sign. “What happened?’ asks Saddam. “Did we win the war?” “Don’t be stupid,” Sahhaf says. “He means there’s just two of us left.”
Saddam isn’t the sole target of the jokes. President Bush and other westerners are prominently featured, according to the report.
- Bush and Blair are giving a press conference. “Right,” Bush says, “we’re going to kill two million Iraqis and one construction worker.”
Question from the press: “Why do you want to kill a construction worker?” Bush leans over to Blair and whispers: “Told you nobody gives a damn about the two million Iraqis.”
- Bush, Blair and Saddam gathered one day on the banks of the Euphrates River. Bush asked his secret service to dive in and bring him a crocodile. The agents say: “Sorry sir, no can do – we have wives and kids to look after.”
Blair tries, same result: “Sorry sir, no can do – we have wives and kids to look after.”
Then it’s Saddam’s turn, and all the agents jump in and bring him lots of crocodiles. Bush and Blair say: “How did you do that?” And Saddam says: “I have their wives and kids to look after.”
- Saddam, Bush and Russia’s Vladimir Putin are swimming in the Arabian Gulf when a giant whale appears.
Bush says: “If you eat me, my warships will destroy you.”
Putin says: “If you eat me, my missiles will destroy you.”
They swim hard to the shore and escape by the skin of their teeth, only to find Saddam waiting on the beach.
“How did you get here so fast?” they ask.
Saddam says: “I told him my name, and he spit me out on the beach.”