My newest favorite e-mail has nothing to with refinancing a home mortgage or enlarging any portion of myself.
It’s a personal plea from Saddam Hussein’s son, Uday, marked “URGENT.”
Less than three weeks after the Wall Street Journal reported that Uday was in surrender talks to U.S. forces in Iraq, it seems the son of a dictator is looking to make himself and someone else very wealthy.
Uday’s letter (let’s play along for the sake of fun and just assume the message is really from Uday) came to WorldNetDaily’s inbox following the general format of the well-known Nigerian scam, promising a massive payoff later in exchange for some money up front.
Here’s the entire text, including the less-than-perfect grammar and spelling:
I am Uday Hussein the first son of The former Iraqi leader President
Saddam Hussein.I was priviledged to a lot of huge transactions during
the reign of my father before the outbreak of Iraq war and collapse
of my father’s regime.Because of the imminent war and threat by the
United States to freeze all assets and funds of the Hussein family,
which is already on the way, I deposited the sum of US$45 MILLION as
bond in a Security Finance Company. Right now I am looking for a
reliable, trustworthy and competent businessman who will travel to
Europe to lay claims to this funds on my behalf. This Funds was
gotten as a result of the sales of petroleum to a French company
allocated to me.
This funds was deposited in a Security Company in Europe because of
the war so that It will not be frozen by American and British
governments. Upon your response showing your interest in assisting
me, the said country in Europe will be revealed to you. Presently, I
am in Iraq in an undisclosed location for security reasons where
there is no telephone and fax communication for security reasons.
I have entrusted all the documents covering the transaction and the
deposit to my personal Attorney who is presently in London. He will give you further directives as regards the claims of the funds and you would be required to give to him a letter of guarantee of trust to prove that the funds will be secured under your custody.
You are to take 25% of the total sum for assitance,5% is mapped out
for any contingent expenses in the course of the transaction, while
70% will be for me. If you are interested kindly contact my lawyer on
the above email address and feel free to deal with him as it will not
be safe for me to deal with you directly
I look forward to receiving updates from my lawyer as regards your cooperation.
May Allah Bless you!
While many people might stop reading as they realize it’s a scam, a closer look at this letter reveals a few interesting points:
- Uday has been spending considerable time in Nigeria, or at least getting lots of similar mail from there.
- By referring to Saddam as the “former Iraqi leader,” Uday recognizes that big daddy is no longer the “Big Man in Baghdad.”
- Uday may see himself as an Iraqi version of Donald Trump, having been around “a lot of huge transactions during the reign of my father.”
- He doesn’t refer to anyone as a bloodthirsty hyena or the Great Satan. Maybe the desire for money calms the insult instinct. We can only hope so, since the U.S. State Department says Uday “has tortured and jailed members of Iraq’s national soccer team for losing games.”
- While “there is no telephone and fax communication for security reasons,” Uday is somehow able to communicate via the Internet. Maybe he’s got one of those new wireless connections.
- He received the $45 million from “the sales of petroleum to a French company allocated to me.” Wouldn’t you know it? There had to be a French connection.
- And Uday requests that we deal with his lawyer “as it will not be safe for me to deal with you directly.” I think Uday must have missed the Shakespeare memo to “kill all the lawyers.” It’s likely his father didn’t.
When I informed a WorldNetDaily colleague that we received a letter from Saddam’s son scoping for dough, his initial reaction was: “He wrote a letter to us?”
Upon further explanation about the contents of the e-mail and our potential windfall of 25 percent of $45 million (more than $11 million), I was told what any true American might say.
“Tell him I won’t take any less than 50 percent.”
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