Bambidiocy 1. [n] To accept the assertion of an individual, corporation or government agency as evidence of fact, when the said individual, corporation or government agency stands accused of lying or fraudulent activity. 2. [n] To believe that men will pay more for paintball than prostitutes.

If there’s one thing you can count on, it’s that across the political spectrum, the media will fall all over itself to cover anything involving naked women. Television producers loved the so-called “Hunting For Bambi” story because of the promise of eye candy. Liberals loved it because it made men with guns look like Neanderthals, and conservatives leaped at the chance to tut-tut predictably about the social decay of America.

Now, I like pretty naked women just as much as the next guy, I’ve met my share of scary hicks with guns and I am certainly of the opinion that America is not so much slouching towards Gomorrah as it is sprinting. However, the reason I never so much as mentioned the Bambi story that drew so much press interest of late is that I figured the only way it could have been more obviously a hoax is if the sponsor of the hunt had said “Baba Booey” or mentioned a certain radio star’s genitalia while being interviewed.

I’ve marveled at the media’s collective gullibility for years. I can still recall with pleasure the night when O.J. Simpson was trapped in his white Bronco, and Peter Jennings excitedly announced that ABC had an eyewitness to the breaking news on the phone. No sooner had the eyewitness announced “Oh my Lord, this is quite tenses” than my friends and I burst out laughing. The caller rambled on in an exaggerated black accent for a few minutes until Al Michaels finally informed Jennings that the call was a hoax. A decade later, all one of the gang has to do to crack everybody up is to say: “Ah see … OJ!”

The Bambi story was a sham from the get-go, and an obvious one at that. I have a friend who went straight out of high school and directly to the pros, as Nelly would say, and worked the high end of the scale in Hollywood about eight years ago. According to her, top girls earned around $1,500 per night, which is pretty good compared to the $25 – $50 per session charged by an Amsterdam window hooker.

And yet, we were supposed to believe that men were paying up to $10,000 for the privilege of shooting a girl in the butt with a paint gun? Right, when for that kind of cash, a guy could fly in a top-flight European escort and keep her for a week. There’s also the fact that the quasi-sapients to whom this sport would presumably appeal aren’t generally known for having that kind of cash to blow on extracurricular activities.

I’m not saying that the media can’t, or won’t, get things wrong from time to time. Mistakes are inevitable, but stupid ones that only require less than five seconds of thought to avoid are not. But the Bambi debacle proves, once more, that a significant portion of the media is far more interested in covering stories that confirm their ignorant view of the world than in discovering the truth.

Many esteemed members of the media embarrassed themselves by thoughtlessly leaping in to opine on the matter, but bambidiocy in its purest form was demonstrated by the original KLAS-TV reporter, whose notion of fact-checking amounted to going back and asking the hoaxer if he was pulling her leg or not.

That’s pretty funny. What is not so funny, though, is that this is standard operating procedure for how the mainstream media covers government. For example, when the federal income tax charade is covered, the usual procedure is for the reporter to mention a few of the many fraudulent actions that the IRS is perpetrating on the American people, then ask an IRS representative if the accusations are true. Shockingly, the IRS representative invariably says they are not, which, in the reporter’s mind, is enough to settle the matter. Can you imagine if we depended on the news media for justice?

Eyewitness to Brutal Axe Attack: “It was him! He chopped their heads off!”

Reporter-Judge: “Sir, did you murder 17 people with an axe, as these 537 witnesses are accusing?”

Axe Murderer: “No. Their accusations are frivolous and without merit.”

Reporter-Judge: “Well, that settles that. I find the accused not guilty.”

And yet, these same bambidiots are your Fourth Estate watchdog, protecting your rights and liberties against government encroachment. Better buy a shotgun – I wouldn’t count on the toothless old mutt.

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