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While everyone would like to claim that the homosexual “marriage” battle has energized the Christian majority in America, nothing could be further from the truth. The recent events in San Francisco and Massachusetts are the ultimate testimony to our lack of energy and desire to please God. We are currently losing this battle because we deserve to lose this battle.

There are several reasons why we will not win this battle until we change our wicked ways. First, our side fails to realize that same-sex couples are attempting to hijack nothing more than a sinking ship. Secondly, Christians lack the unity to defeat those who would redefine marriage. Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, the religious leaders of America are failing to take any action that could possibly stave off an inevitable defeat. Finally, our lack of faith in the Creator of marriage and marriage itself couldn’t be any more obvious. Unless there is a fundamental turnaround in our faith as a nation, we cannot expect or deserve to achieve victory in the preservation of marriage.

The most obvious problem in our attempts to preserve marriage is the fact that Californians, and indeed Americans as a whole, are failing to preserve their own traditional marriages. According to statistics from the California judicial system, California marriages are failing at a rate of 65 percent. With this dire of an outlook for any marriage in California, it’s a wonder that any self-respecting same-sex couple would want the broken hull that we call “marriage.”

One can only surmise that it is the very fact that marriage has been mostly destroyed that the “gay” activists want it so bad. Hijacking what is left of marriage is the only way to ensure that it will be completely destroyed forevermore.

Marriage needs to be restored to what it has always been and what it was intended to be – a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman that cannot be thrown asunder by anything, save the cause of adultery. Those who commit adultery ought to be looked upon as the destructive enemies of marriage and God that they are. Those who would redefine marriage ought to be viewed as enemies of our positive culture and of a grand human history that has been built upon faith and its committed families and spouses.

As if the failure of individuals and couples to hold marriage in a sanctified position wasn’t damning enough, our side consistently fails to work together as a cohesive unit. Truth be known, the underlying battle for saving marriage has been marred time and again by those who would put their financial concerns and egos before the sanctity of marriage. Each major “Christian” organization wants to be the first to reach the fund-raising trough, and each wants to be the first to put a positive spin in the media about what is happening.

The reality is that there is no positive spin on the failures to win this battle. We are losing because we deserve to lose. We must change our ways and repent before the Maker of all holy matrimony. No more egos. No more reliance on fund-raising. No more failures to preserve our own marriages.

We need to begin acting as the flock that God intended us to be. Unfortunately, every single Christian activist or lawyer – including myself – seems to think that God is speaking to him or her alone, and that, therefore, only the individual has the right answers as to how to defeat the enemy. If our side had the humility to go before God and ask as a corporate body for His wisdom, we would have an assured victory.

There is no single lawyer, law firm, activist or organization that can take down the homosexual agenda single-handedly. We must realize that each person and organization has a role to play in the defeat of this awesome enemy. While each of us may have a “David and Goliath” victory on our own battlefront, the truth is that we must coalesce and make each of these battles a part of the overall victory in the war to restore our culture and, indeed, our very moral identities.

Next, our pastors are probably as responsible as anyone for the failure to sanctify marriage. According to recent statistics, over 80 percent of the nation claims to be “Christian” in faith. Adherents to Judaism and Islam make up another significant percentage of Americans that purportedly believe in the sanctity of holy matrimony between a man and a woman. Assuming that there may be a 20-point discrepancy in these statistics, one is still left to wonder about how it is that San Francisco has gotten as far as it has in promoting admitted violations of law.

One need not look far for an answer. Our pastors, rabbis and imams are failing miserably in any effort to energize their congregants. In fact, it seems like a broken marriage is nothing but one more opportunity for a “healing ministry” that makes everyone feel good. Our pastors need to cease and desist in their sickly complacency. They are as much a cause of home-wrecking as any of the homosexual activists.

Indeed, I think it’s fair to say that the “gay” movement is incredibly more consistent and honorable in its commitment to defeating us than we are in defending what we claim to be valuable to society. Instead of building mega-churches and Bible-thumping on the need for a tithe, our religious leaders ought to start identifying and restoring broken marriages in each of their congregations.

Moreover, maybe they might even take the time to have each person in attendance let the judges in San Francisco know that they are out of line. How hard is it to send an e-mail or to write a short note to these judges? How hard is it to find a Christian willing to run for office and to support them with a vote? America’s religious leaders should be ashamed of themselves and each other, and shouldn’t be too shocked they are losing the battle for the moral identities of their congregants and the children of America’s future.

Finally, the faith of this nation is much like the flags that were mounted on our cars following the terrorist acts of September 2001. They flew for so long as there was a timely sense of patriotism. Once the honeymoon ended, they all ended up in the middle of our roadways only to be run over and tattered beyond recognition. Much of the same can be said of our marriages and the related obligation to the God who gave each of us our spouse.

Everyone seems to be enthralled by the courtship and the honeymoon, but few have the moral courage to defend a marriage through thick and thin. Oddly, the ratings on “reality” television shows have skyrocketed, and we seem ever so desperate for the “fairytale weddings” to somehow become reality. Nobody seems to want the real thing to begin with, even though God has given us the opportunity for lasting marriages since the Garden of Eden.

Why is it that President Bush is only taking a “serious look” at what is going on in San Francisco? Bush ought to be sending in the National Guard to San Francisco to immediately restore the order of law and the thousands of years of history underlying the most valued institution of marriage.

As one of the lawyers in the San Francisco case, I am begging each reader to recommit to his or her own marriages, to get involved in the success of your children’s marriages, and to demand that the meaning of your marriage will not be damaged by homosexual activists. I am begging you to recommit your lives to your Maker, and to seek His strength when your own isn’t good enough to get you through a tough marriage.

When I asked my aunt, who has been married for over 50 years, what the secret to marriage was, she had a simple answer: “There will be mornings that you wake up and find that you really don’t like the person sleeping next to you. These are the times that commitment will carry you through.” We know that we cannot rely on ourselves for the success of our marriages, or those of others.

The concept of commitment is something much higher than ourselves. We can only rely on the source of the union between man and woman – our Creator, the same Creator who gave us life and liberty. If we want to win this battle, we must repent and recommit ourselves to His ultimate power and grace.


Richard D. Ackerman is an attorney in southern California.

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