It seems everyone is discovering their sexuality these days.

You have homosexuals, bisexuals, lesbians, transsexuals, transgendereds, metrosexuals and more. I can’t even keep up with the growing list of proclivities.

The notion of legalized same-sex marriages has prompted an increase in group unions. And, of course, there are even organized efforts to tear down the archaic laws against pedophilia.

In an age of seemingly no standards, I’ve discovered my own sexuality – albeit a bit late in life.

Count me among the retrosexuals.

What is a retrosexual?

For starters, I believe in paying for dinner. I believe in opening the door for my wife – or other ladies. I believe in giving up my seat on a bus or train for a woman. I believe in smoking cigars – even if it means sneaking them and puffing outside because wives and daughters frown upon the smell.

Retrosexual men never use more hair and skin products than a woman. My shaving needs consist of a disposable safety razor, the cheaper the better, a shaving brush and a bar of soap. The bar of soap comes in particularly handy because it can double as shampoo if my wife happens to be using something pink or expensive.

Retrosexuals don’t have any confusion about who they are or what they are. They know that God made men and women different – they accept that as fact and appreciate the difference.

Retrosexuals don’t think God makes mistakes. So, if women want to pretend they’re men or men want to pretend they’re women, they are not really fooling anyone but themselves.

You know what? I suspect there are a lot more retrosexuals out there than anyone knows.

The reason you don’t read about retrosexuals in your daily newspaper or see them holding parades on television is because they are not news.

There’s an old saying in the news business that “dog bites man” is not a story, but “man bites dog” is news.

Retrosexuals are not news because they are the majority. They are normal. They are what people expect.

But there is a sexual revolution under way in this country that seeks to marginalize the retrosexual. There is a sexual revolution under way in this country that seeks to overturn the old order of traditional morality, decency and chivalry. There is a sexual revolution under way in this country that seeks to ring in an era of anything-goes anarchy.

There are two ways to fight this revolution. We can fight defensively only – pointing out the ugly side of sexual anarchy. Or we can also fight offensively – championing the old order and making it appealing to a new generation.

Marriage was, is and always will be for members of the opposite sex. Some courts may say otherwise. Some legislatures may say otherwise. None of that will change anything because courts and legislatures didn’t invent marriage – God did.

It’s time to be counted. Maybe you didn’t know you were a retrosexual until now. Maybe you didn’t know you, too, were part of an alternative lifestyle. Maybe you didn’t know you were part of a movement standing up for good, old-fashioned marriage between retrosexual men and women – and retrosexual men and women only.

That’s because for too long this majority has been silent – listening to the cacophony of discontent and sexual-activist mayhem sweeping major cities, the courts and some legislatures.

Now you know who you are. It’s time to stand up for your kids and their future. It’s time to take back the institution of marriage. It’s time for men to love their wives and for women to love their husbands. It’s time girls started dreaming about marriage again. It’s time for boys to respect girls again.

It’s time for retrosexual revolution.


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