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I find it peculiar that most people make a distinction between a committee and a commission. Mention the former and someone is certain to point out that the camel is a horse designed by a committee. But, for reasons I can’t fathom, commissions are held to be a horse of a much different color. Baloney! The only difference been the two of them is that sooner or later most of us have to deal with the one, while the likes of Condoleezza Rice have to put up with the other.

When I first heard about the 9-11 Commission, my stomach turned over and I nearly lost my lunch. Here we were in the midst of a war in Iraq and an ongoing war against terrorism, and the Washington bureaucrats and assorted no-accounts saw only a golden opportunity to vie for TV exposure, while trying to score points against George Bush or Bill Clinton, against the FBI or the CIA, against Richard Clarke or Ms. Rice.

If I may, I’d like to share a little secret with you. I don’t want anybody on either side of the political fence pointing fingers, unless it’s at Islamic fanatics. Could Clinton and his people have done more during his eight years in office to prevent 9-11 from happening? Probably. Could Bush and his team have done more during his eight months in the White House? Probably.

But I have had it with all the partisan bickering. None of those people crashed planes into the Pentagon or the World Trade Center. None of those people set out to kill Americans. The obvious fact that keeps getting brushed aside – partly out of political correctness – is that there is a seriously demented mob of religious nuts out there who want us all dead because Muhammad and the mullahs tell them that’s the way it has to be.

Where the Clintonites erred was in dismissing the fanatics who attacked the African embassies, the Trade Center and the USS Cole as mere criminals. And where Bush and his people continue to err is in electing to overlook the evil role that the Saudi royals played and continue to play in their usual two-faced fashion.

Next, it seems to me that if the FBI and the CIA are going to take the heat for 9-11, they also deserve credit for obviously having learned their lesson well. For despite all the fears raised each time we come up on some special American day of celebration, such as the Fourth of July, Christmas or a Super Bowl, and despite all the red, orange and mauve alerts, it is over two-and-a-half years since that day of infamy. Inasmuch as we know the Islamic swine haven’t turned over a new leaf, isn’t it pretty obvious the good guys have been doing a hell of a job?

Finally, there is something that we all seem to have overlooked about the tragic events of 9-11, perhaps because we mistakenly feel it would somehow diminish the loss the nation suffered that morning. But the enormous success that Osama bin Laden and his flunkies enjoyed was simply a fluke! Crashing those two planes into the twin towers was intended to be basically a symbolic act, a simultaneous attack on Western Civilization and American capitalism. Nobody, certainly including bin Laden, ever imagined that crashing planes into the top stories of the two skyscrapers could possibly turn those magnificent structures into blazing rubble.

He may be a lot taller than the typical Arab terrorist, but bin Laden’s not an evil genius. He’s hardly a Muslim Professor Moriarity. He’s just a nasty slob in a filthy sheet. It’s just our terrible misfortune that the bastard had the luckiest day of his life on Sept. 11, 2001.

In conclusion, let me just say that I have this queasy feeling that once the 9-11 Commission finishes up its present engagement, loads up the elephants and packs up the tents, this pack of clowns will begin to hold hearings on what President William Howard Taft knew about the Titanic, and when he knew it.

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