Jew-haters of the world, rejoice!

It turns out – after repeated denials by the world Jewish community for generations – that you were right all along. There really is a conspiracy on the part of the Jews to take over the world.

And all the guys who said America went to war in Iraq due to Jewish pressure – august personalities such as Sen. Fritz Hollings, Gen. Anthony Zinni, Congressman Jim Moran and Pat Buchanan – have now been vindicated. The Israeli government, through its Washington Mossad office – also known as AIPAC – was behind the war all along.

At least, that’s the impression one would get if they were to follow the world media’s coverage of the recent FBI investigation into AIPAC.

The influential American-Jewish lobby for Israel is being investigated for passing to the Israeli government a classified Pentagon position paper, given to them by analyst Larry Franklin, on Iran. Never mind that this secret position paper was only a draft, and that it was none too secret either, its content having been published a year ago in the Washington Post. As far as the mainstream European and fringe-American media are concerned, AIPAC has finally been exposed for what it truly is, a central peg in the world Jewish conspiracy to rule the world.

The equation works something like this. The Israeli government, through AIPAC, controls the neocons in the Pentagon, mostly a bunch of smart and scheming Jews like Paul Wolfowitz, Douglas Feith and Harold Rhode. The brainy and conniving Jewish neocons, in-turn, influence the less intelligent, but hawkish likes of Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, who in turn control that dufus Bush. In this way, the Jews have completely co-opted American foreign policy, sidelining the Arabist State Department, and launched the war in Iraq in order to protect Israel from the madman Saddam.

Don’t laugh. While the above twaddle was once the preserve of conspiracy nuts on the Internet, the investigation of AIPAC has now made such inane speculations the preserve of some of the world’s most prestigious news agencies. Here, for example, is how the BBC reported the AIPAC news on its website. Let’s see if you can connect the dots:

The Israeli government has strongly denied reports that a senior U.S. defense department official spied for Israel … The suspected spy is said to have links to Douglas Feith, a key adviser to Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. Mr. Feith, along with Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, is believed to have played a key role in planning the U.S. invasion of Iraq in 2003.

Get it? The spy who works for Israel works for Feith who, along with Wolfowitz, engineered the American entry into Iraq.

The U.K. Guardian, which is much more open about its antipathy toward Israel, decided not to beat around the bush:

The Federal Bureau of Investigation believes an Israeli spy has infiltrated the highest level of the Pentagon and may have tried to influence U.S. policy toward Iran and Iraq, it emerged last night.

For the Guardian, the story is no longer about “a trusted Pentagon analyst” who may have passed on a classified document. It is now an “Israeli spy” who was planted in order to push America toward war. So you see, the “Protocols of Elders of Zion” had it right all along.

This was all big news in Europe last week where the AIPAC scandal was dominating headlines even as 350 hostages died in Russia as a result of an Islamic terror attack.

But the fact that Europeans would go for such twaddle is par for the course. After all, these are the people who believed for a thousand years that the Jews are vampires who drink the blood of their children. The truly puzzling thing is why the FBI chose to believe it as well. How else to explain why the agency decided, of its own volition, to suddenly conduct surveillance against AIPAC?

According to the New York Times, the investigation into AIPAC came about when “a squad of Federal Bureau of Investigation agents” began “surreptitiously tailing two men … lobbyists for the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, and one of their contacts turned out to be a policy analyst at the Pentagon.” Now, given that the FBI has its hands full trying to protect the United States from millions of Islamic extremists whose life’s ambition it is to kill Americans, what were they doing tailing a bunch of pro-Israel lobbyists? Is that what the United States is really afraid of? A bunch of Jews in suits? We Jews are suddenly the dangerous ones?

Even if this policy paper was indeed passed on by AIPAC (which they fervently deny) to America’s foremost ally – Israel – does that really constitute a breach of national security? Is the United States afraid Israel would share its position paper on Iran with an Arab government? Were they concerned the Israelis might tell the Iranians what they were up to?

Yes, yes, say the news media outlets, which reported this investigation is serious precisely because Israel may have passed on national security secrets to Ahmed Chalabi, who in turn passed them to the mullahs of Iran.

So in an effort to prove the world Jewish conspiracy, we are expected to believe Israel is sharing secrets with an enemy that is dedicated to its complete destruction. Sounds plausible to me.

But there is one serious problem with all this conspiracy stuff. If the Jews control the world, then why do they have only one tiny country – the size of Delaware – that is getting smaller by the day? If Jews control American foreign policy, then how is it that the United States, under its best presidential friend ever, officially endorses a Palestinian state in the ancient Jewish lands of Judea and Samaria? If the Jews control the world, why is it they can’t get even a single U.N. resolution passed in their favor? And if the Jews control the White House and the Pentagon, why did they allow the FBI to slip through their fingertips?

Far from being strong, the Jews are, unfortunately, very weak. More than 70 percent of American Jews will vote for John Kerry in the upcoming election. Yet they could not persuade him to make a single reference to Israel’s security in his Democratic nomination acceptance speech in Boston.

Of course, central to the argument that the Jews control the world is the idea that Jews are incredibly intelligent. But their support of John Kerry – a man who pledged to fight a more “sensitive” war on terror, originally pledged to send Jimmy Carter as his personal representative to the Middle East, and told an Arab-American audience that Israel’s security wall is “another barrier to peace” – over George W. Bush, the most stalwart supporter of Israel ever in the Oval office, should easily refute that allegation as well.

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