On “Meet the Press” last Sunday, John Kerry admitted he had not been in Cambodia on Christmas in 1968, even though he said on the Senate floor that the memory had been “seared – seared in me.”

What Kerry told Tim Russert last Sunday was that he had been in Cambodia, but it was a different day, that he had “jumbled the two together, but we were five miles into Cambodia.” Then he brought up his famous “CIA guy,” insisting that he and his crew were five miles into Cambodia on a secret mission “with CIA agents – I believe they were CIA agents – special ops guys.”

Here we have it: the famous Kerry shifting sands. It wasn’t Christmas in 1968, but he still insists he was in Cambodia, but now with some secret squirrel CIA guys who have never come forward to validate Kerry’s new story.

But Kerry insists he has photographs that prove his new version: “I even have some photographs of it, and I can document it. And it has been documented.” Where, Sen. Kerry, where is the documentation?

A photograph of you holding today’s edition of the Boston Globe in front of the Massachusetts Turnpike Sign at the Cambridge entrance off Storrow Drive might prove something. But what are we going to get here? A 1968 photo of you in your swiftboat surrounded by some “CIA guys” holding handwritten signs saying “We’re in Cambodia now and it’s 1968, but not exactly Christmas.” What do CIA guys look like? Do they have signs too that say “I’m a CIA guy” – how are these supposed photos going to prove anything?

OK, you told Tim Russert you would release those photographs. So, let’s see them. How about posting them tomorrow on your website, JohnKerry.com?

You also told Russert you had the famous hat the CIA agent gave you: “I still have the hat he gave me, and I hope the guy would come out of the woodwork and say, ‘I’m the guy who went up with John Kerry. We delivered weapons to the Khmer Rouge on the coastline of Cambodia.” More lies. The Khmer Rouge weren’t involved in the war in 1968. There was no CIA guy, except in your secret imagination, Sen. Kerry. “And I have some photographs of that, and that’s what we did. So, you know, the two were jumbled together, but we were on the Cambodian border on Christmas eve, absolutely.”

Sounds like “hypothetical lying,” Senator. The more times you go over it in your imagination, the more real it seems to you. The problem is your versions keep changing – was it the medals or the ribbons you threw away during your 1971 anti-war protest in front of the U.S. Capitol? More shifting sand in an imagination that invents reality – that’s what it sounds like, Sen. Kerry.

Then there’s the little detail that your original story revolved around Richard Nixon being president in December 1968. The whole point of your story told on the Senate floor on March 27, 1986, was to accuse President Reagan of creating “another Vietnam” by taking unauthorized military actions in Central America, the same way President Nixon did when he ordered you into Cambodia on Christmas 1968. The problem is that President Nixon was not inaugurated until Jan. 20, 1969, and he wasn’t ordering anybody anywhere, at least not from the White House. Not a small detail, Senator. Your whole original lying story depended upon Nixon being in the White House in December 1968, so he could order you into Cambodia illegally.

The Christmas in Cambodia story is ridiculous, except that John Kerry has this bizarre need to place himself at the center of everything. What are we supposed to believe? That Nixon got into the White House and the first thing he said was “Give me the telephone. I’m going to order Lt. Kerry and his swiftboat crew into Cambodia with some secret squirrel CIA guys so we can clean up this whole Vietnam mess once and for all?” The story is preposterous, besides which, it never happened. That, Sen. Kerry, is what we mean by “a lie.”

Did you make up Christmas in Cambodia, Sen. Kerry, the same way you “made up” the lie about “war criminals” – that the 2 and a half million Americans who fought in Vietnam – including the 58,000 whose names are on the Wall in Washington, D.C., the ones who didn’t come home – were all “war criminals,” like you told the Fulbright Committee in April 1971? Your testimony there is on tape and the Swift Boat Veterans for the Truth played your actual voice on one of the TV commercials.

Get off the shifting sands, Sen. Kerry, once and for all. You told Tim Russert that you would sign Standard Form 180 releasing your military records to the public. On Wednesday this week, Judicial Watch sent you a copy of Standard Form 180, with instructions where to send it once you signed it. Go to their website (JudicialWatch.org) and you can find documentation that they did send you the form. Would you like pre-addressed, stamped letter, to make sending it in easy? I’m sure we can arrange to have an envelope delivered to your Senate office, along with a ready-to-use Standard Form 180. We can probably even highlight in yellow marker the place where you need to sign your name.

Or were you just lying once again when you told Tim Russert on national television that you would sign the form? More flip-flops? More waffling? More nuances – “I’ll sign mine, but only if everybody else signs theirs” – is that the escape hatch you invented for yourself this time?

We won’t ask to see the CIA guy’s hat (or the receipt from the Army Navy Surplus store where you probably bought it). We’ll even pass on the photograph of you that proves you and the CIA guys were in Cambodia in 1968, despite the gunboats the U.S. Navy had patrolling that border to make sure nobody got into Cambodia by accident.

You said all this was documented in the Navy records. Where? I’ve searched through the swiftboat records at the Navy Yard in Washington, D.C. – twice. Building 57. All the swiftboat records are there, placed on a cart so they are easy to access. There is no record that you or any other swiftboat commander was in Cambodia in 1968, on Christmas or any other day. Why don’t you produce the Navy document you are referring to? We can’t find any Navy document that substantiates any of the different versions you tell of this story.

But then, I forgot. It was a secret mission that nobody knew about. Nobody, that is, but you. Or maybe you and your imaginary friends, the CIA guys.

How many other things are you making up, Sen. Kerry? It’s OK, you probably want to tell us anyway. Let’s start with Madame Binh, the chief Viet Cong negotiator to the Paris peace talks. What exactly was it you and she talked about when you met with her secretly in Paris during the summer of 1970 – that unauthorized discussion while you were yet a Naval Reserve officer? Why precisely is it that your little sit-down with her didn’t violate the Code of Military Justice? And, while you’re at it, maybe you can resolve our suspicions that you got a less-than-honorable discharge for that little meeting with the enemy during a time of war.

When we get finished with that, we have some more questions, Sen. Kerry. We have the time. It’s four years between now and 2008, and you’re making sounds like you want to run for president again.

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