Neverland Ranch, former home to the, uh, man, who was once the most famous singer on the planet, many carnival rides and who knows how many tickle fights with McCauley Culkin, has been at least temporarily shut down.
Dozens of employees have been laid off due to the fact that the California Department of Labor closed the ranch because Jackson carried no workers compensation.
After all that has been alleged to have gone on at Neverland – from supplying kids with alcohol to drug use to sequined fingerprints on Garanimal zippers – Michael Jackson's home is shut down not due to any of the plethora of "alleged" crimes, but because he wasn't set up to accommodate government regulations in the event his umbrella holder poked out an eye or a Neverland carney lost a leg in a bumper car accident.
The government shutting down Neverland for a lack of workers comp is the pop world real estate equivalent of getting Capone on tax evasion. The lesson here being that, if you're a bank robber, child molester, carjacker or mobster, your odds of getting off the hook are far greater if you simply keep your paperwork with the state timely and on the up-and-up.
Frankly, Jackson should feel lucky. Problems with the government, mounting debt and fleeing the country in shame pale in comparison to what could have happened. For a while, it was looking like Michael was facing the kind of serious jail time often reserved for those who have a playscape in the wine cellar, but fame can get you out of just about anything – with the exception of non-compliance with government regulations.
When Jackson was found not guilty on all counts after last year's molestation trial, it was not surprising in the least. Many of the witnesses for the prosecution were as greasy as undercooked bacon.
When you're trying to convict the freaky, you can't do it with people who are freakier than the freak in question – the kind of folks who make Mr. Haney from Green Acres seem like a beacon of integrity.
In his later life, Jackson allowed himself to be surrounded by every form of bloodsucker, extortionist and weasel imaginable – yes, it was worse than pro wrestling. These were the witnesses who the prosecution had testifying against Jackson at the molestation trial.
Jackson could be really stupid for allowing these people in his life, or very smart. He could have surrounded himself with dirtbags and leeches who have no credibility so that when they take the witness stand they're laughed out of the courtroom. It's a quite effective life strategy for those with dealings that are questionable at best. Hey, it worked for the Clintons.
Somehow though, the thought of Michael Jackson going to jail, unaccompanied by some of the parents who allowed their kids to spend the night with him, would have made the vessel of justice seem a little emptier. Especially the parents who sent their kids to Neverland after all that was known of the charges against Jackson.
Late last year, for example, about 200 kids visited Jackson at Neverland. Yes, parents were still allowing their kids go to the place where "beat it" wasn't just a song. Amazing. Perhaps when those kids get older and realize what their parents did, they'll reciprocate by sending ol' mom and dad off for a weekend at Jack Kevorkian's "amusement van" and see how they appreciate the gross negligence.
When you figure all the money Michael has paid out to the families of children to shut them up, his financial difficulties are easy to understand. Consider just the kids in the visit mentioned above. Let's see, 200 kids at about $1.75 million a kid equals ... a checkbook that's very difficult to balance.
The problems were so insurmountable that Jackson left the country.
Now it appears that Michael may live out his days in Bahrain as a kept person. Jackson moved halfway 'round the world, much to the chagrin of the newly nervous parents of Bahrainian tots, where it has been reported that Prince Abdullah has supplied him with a driver, a Bentley GT, Rolls Royce Phantom and, more valuable still, gas for both cars.
In Bahrain, Michael Jackson will have more than enough admirers and donors to keep him believing that he's still on top of the world. Much of Jackson's life has been built on fantasy. Why stop now just because the government unplugged the carousel?