Editor’s note: Michael Ackley’s columns may include satire and parody based on current events, and thus mix fact with fiction. He assumes informed readers will be able to tell which is which.

Things really are different in California. For example, in the San Francisco Bay Area, 76-year-old Donna Sheehan is helping organize a ”Global Orgasm for Peace.” She wants everybody to get it on and get off on Dec. 22 – the winter solstice – while focusing on world peace. (That’s really how they spell ”peace.”)

According to the orgasm-ization’s website, ”The goal is to add so much concentrated and high-energy positive input into the energy field of the Earth that it will reduce the current dangerous levels of aggression and violence throughout the world.”

This is explained on the website under the heading, ”The Science,” which says, ”The Zero Point Field or Quantum Field surrounds and is part of everything in the universe. It can be affected by human consciousness, as can be seen when simple observation of a subatomic particle changes the particle’s state.

”We hope that a huge influx of physical, mental and spiritual energy with conscious peaceful intent will … have profound positive effects that will change the violent state of the human world.”

Organizer Paul Reffell was quoted in the media, ”The orgasm gives out an incredible feeling of peace during it and after it. Your mind is a blank. It’s like a meditative state, and mass meditations have been shown to make a change.”

(Apparently, these folks have studied quantum mechanics at Wyoming Truck Driving School.)

Well, power to them and their blank minds, particularly Ms. Sheehan, who should be an inspiration for septuagenarians the world over.



Clerics’ erroneous inference: According to wire reports, one of the six Muslim imams pulled from a Minneapolis flight last week was frustrated that ”so many Americans know so little about Islam.” This, he said, was despite efforts by clerics, including himself, to enlighten our citizenry. Alas, dear imam, the problem is not that Americans know so little about Islam, it is that more and more Americans know more and more about the religion as world events force it into their consciousness. And the more they learn about it, the less they like it.

The clerics, of course, are crying bigotry, to which we suggest: Get thee to a dictionary. Ours defines bigot as ”a person who holds blindly and intolerantly to a particular creed, opinion, etc. …”

When Americans are repelled by genocide in Somalia, inter- and intra-sect violence in Iraq, worldwide terrorism, jihadist hate in Pakistan, the excesses of Sharia law in Nigeria or the general oppression of women, their antipathy isn’t the blindness of bigotry; it’s the vision of informed judgment.



According to his apologists, New York Rep. Charles Rangel is trying to make a point by introducing legislation to reinstitute the military draft. That point, apparently, is that poor folks disproportionately enter the Army, Air Force, Marines, Navy and Coast Guard to escape poverty. Well, by all means, let us have universal conscription. It would produce a huge standing army, a better ”big stick.” Somehow, we doubt this is what the congressman really wants. …



Demonic possession? Stand-up comic and former ”Seinfeld” star Michael Richards apologized last week for a diatribe laced with the ”N” word. He declared, ”I am not a racist,” and professed not to know where the outburst – triggered by some black hecklers – arose.

We doubt the Devil made him do it. Let us suggest that the racism came out because it was in there to begin with. Let us suggest, further, that many Americans have racist thoughts, which they try conscientiously to suppress. It would be better to analyze than to suppress such thoughts, rendering them less likely to burst forth in times of stress, such as during a stage performance.

Note: Read our discussion guidelines before commenting.