Chuck Norris

WND columnist Chuck Norris not only pushes the earth down when he does push-ups, he could also be elected to a landslide victory as president of South Africa if he was willing to take on the assignment, according to a recent survey.

In fact, according to the poll conducted by ZOO Weekly, South Africa’s only weekly men’s lifestyle magazine, action star Norris would claim 86 percent of the vote in such an election. The next closest contender would be a television news reader by the name of Riaan Cruywagen. The only politician who made a showing was Jacob Zuma with 4 percent.

“Of course it should be Chuck Norris,” says ZOO Weekly Editor Margot Bertelsmann. “Not only is he the most powerful force in the universe, but his heart is also in the right place due to the fact that he frequently donates blood to the Red Cross … just never his own!”

But what about right here in the USA? Could Chuck Norris, the Internet phenomenon, martial arts champion, author, actor, director, producer and general Renaissance man, gather support for a bid for the White House?

His fellow WND columnist, Maralyn Lois Polak, hardly a Republican cheerleader, had already made it clear where she stands. In a column titled unambiguously “Chuck Norris for president!” she offered up some credentials: “He knows his way around the White House. He’s been there for dinner. He played golf with Nancy Reagan. He went to Korea. He was an MP in the service. Don’t mess with him – he was a martial arts champ who became an actor at age 36, starred in more than 20 motion pictures and can crunch creeps like cockroaches.”

“Chuck Norris for president!” she continued. “He’s a God-fearing kind of guy. He’d keep us out of war, or help us win the ones we’ve already lost – on film. He’s a one-man avenging army, so we could cut defense spending considerably. Even when he was 47, he worked out three hours a day and his resting heartbeat was 39 or 40. He can cry on cue, and he can do his own stunts, which would be helpful in strategic negotiations. He’s been known to travel with his workout partner-cum-bodyguard and his personal hairdresser, so he’d always be ready in a crisis.”

On the other side of the political spectrum, columnist Jane Chastain named Norris as one of 10 men and women, including fellow WND columnist Ann Coulter, who could lead the Constitution Party to the White House in 2008.

Some posters on the WND Chuck Norris forum agree with Polak’s assessment. Some go even further.

“I see Chuck Norris as King David in the Bible,” wrote EB. “Chuck Norris is a man after God’s heart. He slew his ‘Goliaths’ as a younger man, now it’s on to doing good works as a result of faith. No one said life would be easy, and I know Mr. Norris has experienced many trials which he has passed through. May the Lord strengthen you Chuck (Philippians 4:13) to run the good race and finish well.”

There’s been an increase in discussion of Chuck Norris as a political figure coinciding with his debut last fall as a regular weekly columnist in WND.

The star of “Walker: Texas Ranger” and some of the biggest action pictures ever, is talking to a new generation these days as part of an Internet craze for one-liners usually labeled not as jokes but as “facts.”

Here are some samples:

  • “Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.”
  • “They wanted to put Chuck Norris on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn’t tough enough for Chuck’s beard.”
  • “Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.”
  • “Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming that ‘Law & Order’ are the names of his left and right legs.”
  • “Chuck Norris sleeps with a night-light because the dark is afraid of him.”
  • “Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.”
  • “There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.”
  • “When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.”
  • “When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.”

(You can contribute your favorite Chuck Norris Laughlines in the WND Forum that debuted along with his column.)

There are some 50,000 of these jokes, er, “facts” floating around the ‘Net.

Chuck Norris’ career began, not in movies, television or in the world of Internet trivia. The man who has employed martial arts in so many of his pictures first came to the world’s attention as a real-life martial arts star. He was a six-time undefeated World Professional MiddleWeight Karate Champion. He was also a renowned teacher in the martial arts, with celebrity students including Steve McQueen, Bob Barker, Priscilla Presley and Donnie and Marie Osmond.

He has gone on to found the United Fighting Arts Federation with over 2,300 black belts all over the world. In 1997, Norris achieved another milestone in his life by being the first man ever in the Western Hemisphere to be awarded an eighth-degree Black Belt Grand Master recognition in the Tae Kwon Do system. This was a first in 4,500 years of tradition.

Norris is also a powerboat racer. In 1991, he and his team won the World Offshore Powerboat championship. Then he went on to setting a new world record by racing a 38-foot Scarab boat 605 miles across the Great Lakes, from Chicago to Detroit, in 12 hours and 8 minutes.

In 1988, Norris wrote his autobiography, “The Secret of Inner Strength,” which became a New York Times best seller. He followed up a few years later with a second book, “The Secret Power Within: Zen Solutions to Real Problems.”

Asked how he would like to be remembered, Norris answered as a humanitarian. Here are some his efforts on that score:

  • As spokesman for United Way, his eight-minute commercial helped bring in over $2 billion.
  • Veterans Administration spokesman, visiting V.A. hospitals and speaking with World War II, Korean and Vietnam War veterans – including one from World War I.
  • Actively involved with the Make A Wish Foundation for 29 years.
  • He has won the Jewish Humanitarian Man of the Year Award.

For Norris, however, the most rewarding accomplishment was the creation of his Kick-Start Foundation. With the help of President Bush, he implemented a program teaching the martial arts to 150 high-risk children at M.C. Williams Middle School in Houston, Texas, as part of the school curriculum. The program was so successful in helping to instill discipline and respect in the kids, as well as getting them out of gangs, that the program is now in 30 schools with more than 4,200 young boys and girls actively participating.

Most recently, Norris and his wife, Gena, joined the board of directors of the National Council on Bible Curriculum In Public Schools with the quest of helping students understand the Bible’s impact on history and literature. Both Norrises are featured in a popular television public service announcement that encourages citizens to bring the Bible back to America’s public schools as an available elective course of study. The announcements are aired on several national networks.

The Norris announcements inform viewers that they can call the National Council on Bible Curriculum in Public Schools to receive information on how any citizen can help their local school board implement the NCBCPS curriculum. Already this year a record 49 new school districts have decided to offer “The Bible in History and Literature” course. Nationwide, 370 school districts have approved the course for use in over 1,350 schools in 37 states. More than 93 percent of school boards approached with the curriculum have voted to implement it, and the NCBCPS materials have never been legally challenged.

Check out Chuck Norris’ latest column for WND

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