At this moment, there are three declared candidates who are considered ”front-runners” for the Democrats’ nomination: Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John Edwards. That rattling sound you hear are DNC nerves.
It isn’t looking good for Hillary Clinton. Though polls show her as the early favorite, Hillary is sitting on so many fences that eventually she’ll succumb to splinter-shock. Her past as a radical leftist vs. her more recent ”softer” statements, support of the war in Iraq and a moderated stance on abortion, will have Hillary doing more dancing than Ginger Rogers standing on a downed power line, putting her in danger of losing the base.
Hillary may well founder, which leaves us with the man in the on-deck circle, Barack Obama. With only two years’ national experience, Obama will ultimately be chewed up and spit out like a dog pill poorly hidden in a hunk of Fido’s cheese. Some say Obama’s cigarette smoking and middle name of ”Hussein” are negatives, but these two facts will offset each other. How so? Engaging in the promotion of America’s biggest killer will give chills to liberals, but this will be balanced out by sharing a name with a wrongly condemned victim of George W. Bush who didn’t have weapons of mass destruction.
As for announced candidate number three, when voters hear ”John Edwards,” he’ll be closely associated with John “botched joke” Kerry, and most Democrat primary voters will rightly think ”been there, done that.” Clearing a section of forest to build a huge home isn’t bound to go over well with the tree-huggers, either. Additionally, listening to one of the reasons that health care is so expensive complain about the cost of health care may not make sense to some of the more astute voters.
And then there’s the undeclared Al Gore, who remains a hero to the Democrat base. After all, Gore’s the only high-profile Democrat with experience at winning a presidential election, isn’t he? Gore’s winning of the overall popular vote but yet losing the White House continues to chap Dem behinds, and many would love to give Al another shot.
Couple that with the fact that Al may win an Academy Award this year, and Gore looks like the man to beat in ‘08. Gore’s global warming film ”An Inconvenient Truth” got two Oscar nominations. In late Feb., the Gore-loving, global warming fearing Hollywood glitterati will jump in their three-mile-per-gallon limos and head for the red carpet, some after burning tens of thousands of gallons of jet fuel on their private planes, to back Gore in his quest to save the planet and root for the film to emerge victorious – not to mention urge him to run for president.
It’s been a long road back for Gore since his 2000 heartbreak. Ever since, Gore’s been on the comeback trail. There are good reasons Gore often says the most serious threat to the world isn’t terrorism, but rather global warming: Gore hasn’t made an Oscar-nominated movie or written a book about terrorism.
There’s one way to tell if global warming is actually a greater threat than terrorism. If we start seeing al-Qaida switching from car bombs and hijackings to aerosol hairspray and leaving an SUV running instead of blowing it up, then we’ll know.
The Democrat nomination is Al Gore’s for the taking. Sure, there will be questions, such as why global warming wasn’t such a big deal for the eight years Gore was actually in a position to do something about it, but this is a minor point. Though they’d never admit it, Democrats must be nervous, as their current list of front-runners would all be presidential ”firsts”: A woman, a black man, and a trial attorney suffering dangerously high CO2 levels from ambulance-exhaust inhalation.
Al Gore offers the Democrats a way around uncharted waters. Gore is tested, high profile, loved by Hollywood, and he’s the only candidate who has experience winning a presidential election – or so they’ll tell us. He’s the ”safest” bet at this point, and who else can be billed as most capable of actually saving the planet? I predict not only do the Democrat suits get Gore to run, but that they even convince him to wear a cape on the campaign trail.
The stars are aligned perfectly for Al Gore to get the nomination. See you at the recount.
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