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Hillary Clinton seems to view black voters the same way plantation owners viewed slaves – they are her property, they will do what she says, and she will make their lives hell-on-earth if she doesn’t get her way.

She also knows how to keep the field hands in line: Make the house slaves do all the dirty work.

Spread out before her is the entirety of the 2008 campaign for president. Hillary understands all too well that in recent political cycles liberals must have the vote of the poorly informed but overly hyped African-American voting majority if they are to stand a chance. If the Democrats lose more than roughly 9 percent of their vote, they are toast.

The problem in this election cycle is that there is a certifiably articulate poster boy for the Democratic Party, and he also happens to be black. His name is Barack Obama and he’s running against her in the primary. The problem this presents Hillary as a candidate is far greater than she has let on publicly, though off the record Washington insiders are confessing Hillary’s supporters are worried.

Since Hillary is known for her white-knuckle, “I’ll pull the switch myself if I have to,” maniacal, cut-throat style, she already verges on appearing to the general public as overly dominant; but by having a genuine contender in the race, who happens to also be African-American, her patience is really being stretched thin.

So, if the Democratic Party, which ironically enough founded the Ku Klux Klan* as tool by which to intimidate blacks into voting Democrat, has in fact become the modern-day plantation to black voters, Hillary is without question the plantation madam. On her plantation are the house slaves – Reverends Sharpton and Jackson, and most recently South Carolina state Sens. Robert Ford and Darrell Jackson.

Every one of these men cheered on Barack Obama at the 2004 Democratic National Convention. Jesse Jackson worked tirelessly to help get Obama elected in his home state of Illinois. And as anyone with a functioning brain stem can figure out, of all the recent candidates the Democrats have put forward for president who happen to be black, Obama leaves them all in the dust by way of credentials and speaking and writing ability – not to mention the fact that he has actually served in elected office. As best we can tell he has also never had a love child with someone other than his wife.

The job of these four modern house slaves (and others for all we know) is to “be black” and to publicly cast doubt on Obama’s ability to win, his “true blackness,” experience in public office, and, once and for all, “why he’s just not black enough.”

I believe that this was suddenly why a few weeks back Sharpton began getting all uppity to Obama, saying: “Just because you’re our color doesn’t mean you’re our kind.”

Well that was rude …

Or Jackson, who all but pledged his undying love for him in his U.S. Senate race, can barely bring himself to say, “All my heart leans toward Barack.”

Uh, OK – so are you endorsing him? “Well, there are many good candidates out there. …”

But this last week two prominent African-American state senators from South Carolina got gamey on Obama’s chances. State Sen. Robert Ford went so far as to say, “Every Democratic candidate running on that ticket would lose because he’s black and he’s at the top of the ticket. We’d lose the House, the Senate and the governors and everything.”

He added, “I’m a gambling man, I love Obama, but I’m not going to kill myself.”

Well, wait a second. The last time I checked no one was asking for self-mutilation, were they? And what’s with the “he would doom every race on the ticket” speak? I thought this was America; no one can stop you from achieving your dreams, blah, blah, blah.

Ford then clarified by adding that he had been “swayed” by calls from former President Clinton and Sen. Hillary Clinton.

Hmm, curious minds would like to know what the plantation master and madam had to say during that little pep talk.

There was also a nasty little development that appears to have swayed Ford’s colleague state Sen. Darrell Jackson. According to published reports, Hillary “bribed,” I mean, uh – “purchased,” no wait – “paid for,” nope – “earned” Jackson’s “endorsement” for a price tag of $10,000 a month for the next 21 months. (That’s $210,000 for those you educated by American Federation of Teachers.)

Interestingly enough, no mention of this was disclosed when Ford and Jackson made their announcements of endorsement this week. Further, I’m still very curious why someone who “loves Obama” would begin thinking it would be suicide to vote for him.

The truth is African-American voters almost indescribably loved William Jefferson Clinton. They found him to be funny, flawed and ultimately forgivable. But Hillary is no Bill. Her mean countenance and demeanor are anything but warm, and while she is inestimably safer around interns of the opposite sex than her husband, she is anything but friendly. In fact, she comes across in nearly every venue as an exact representation of what she is – cold, strategic, hot tempered and ultimately unpleasant to be with.

Barack Obama, though I disagree with nearly every policy position he holds, is every bit as strategic as Hillary. He is also a nicer, smiling individual who for his severely misguided policies appears to love his wife and his beautiful little girls.

Hillary is in a pickle. She knows it.

She is the mean plantation madam who believes the slaves will love her more if she has them punished thrice daily, and she will resort to philosophical lynchings, intellectual rape and rhetorical beatings to get it done.

* Much more on the founding of the KKK by the Democrats in my new book, “MuscleHead Revolution: Overturning Liberalism with Commonsense Thinking.”

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