I’m so excited! The National Day of Appreciation for Abortion Providers is just three days away – Saturday, March 10!
We will not likely get to celebrate this unholiest of unholy days with the actual dirty deed doers themselves, since I anticipate their inspirational work ethic will compel them to labor (pardon the pun) on coincidentally the most profitable day of their week.
But we can certainly show our support through the sincerest form of flattery, imitation, except … hmm … there’s not much to imitate that won’t get us thrown in prison. Well, at least we can wear red!
And, of course, we can all laud together the Third Annual Abortionist of the Year!
Before I name that person, I must confess it was difficult to dredge up nominees for this year’s prize, called the Malachi Award for the dismembered baby found frozen in a jar at a Dallas abortion mill in 1993. This award is unique in that it comes in pieces conveniently packaged in a red biohazard bag.
Our selection process was particularly arduous this year thanks to our cumbersome requirement that winners have valid medical licenses and not be convicted felons.
Yes, we lost an alarming number of shop choppers to arrest or license revocation during the past 12 months.
Oh dear, and we were already scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Take Reffat Kamel Abofreka of Virginia, for instance, who would have made a spectacular nominee had he not lost his license last April for botching a couple of abortions, then shooing the mothers off to the hospital ER without making arrangements.
We were sorry to learn 82-year-old former abortionist Richard Leigh of Grand Forks (how appropriate!), N.D., lost his license in December for defrauding Medicare, the dear old buzzard.
We were proud California abortionist Laurence Reich managed to avoid license revocation for six years (!) after complaints were filed for sexually molesting patients. But last April his legal options sadly petered out.
On the bright side, New Jersey abortionist Flavius Thompson deserves honorable mention for completing court intervention to learn how not to flush aborted babies into the sewer system so he could have his medical license reinstated in May!
But that news was tempered by a rash of abortion mill closures. We worry about the health and safety of women if all the front alley abortion mills are shut down due to health and safety violations!
Thank goodness Summit Medical Center in Birmingham, Ala., voluntarily surrendered its license last June rather than allow an investigation of its premises. Lord knows what right-wing health inspectors would have found.
Biased state officials indeed closed A Gynecologists Diagnostic Center in Hialeah, Fla., last summer after a baby was allegedly aborted alive, killed and then hidden from police on the mill’s roof for nine days. Would you believe an anonymous inside tipster led police to the body? It is hard to fathom an abortion worker with a conscience exists.
But the industry received its most serious blow only last week when the New Jersey Health Department closed Metropolitan Medical Associates after a mother who aborted there suffered massive hemorrhaging resulting in a stroke and month-long coma. Investigators found the mill had serious infectious control issues, which really shouldn’t surprise anyone since it killed 10,000 babies a year. Consider the logistics of maintaining cleanliness with all those dead bodies.
Look at this. I have used so much space lamenting the abortion industry’s woes I barely have room left to announce this year’s Abortionist of the Year! And so, without further adieu … drum roll, please …
We are proud to announce, from a pack of worthy contenders, the 2007 Abortionist of the Year is Wichita, Kansas’ own late-term abortionist extraordinaire, George “the Killer” Tiller!
Let us list Tiller the Killer’s most notable accomplishments!
Although it is illegal in Kansas to commit abortions after 22 weeks unless a mother’s life is endangered or she will suffer substantial and irreversible harm to a major bodily function, our man Tiller devised a way to report the aforementioned without the aforementioned being true!
Incredibly, Tiller also devised a way to state on mandated reports that post-viability babies he aborts are not viable!
Tiller reports his secret is to spread abortion blood money so thickly among politicians that there is allegedly nary a one with prosecutorial influence he has not bought off!
What a genius! Congratulations, Tiller; you are an inspiration to all abortionists!
Happy National Day of Appreciation for Abortion Providers to all!
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