TO: Angela Merkel
Chancellor, Bundesrepublik Deutschland

FROM: James H. Rutz
Author, ?bermensch, crotchety columnist

Hi, I hear you’re locking up your best citizens again. Tsk. First, it was those pesky Jews, now it’s your top students. What next, Madam Chancellor? Armbands for Baptists? Public burnings of John Wayne videos? Auditions for the role of Lord Haw-Haw in the movie version of “Mein Kampf”? Where will it all end, Madam?

Those of us safely outside the concertina-wired borders of your fantasy Fatherland are fascinated to observe the delirious birth pangs of your new Germanic consciousness, the 3 1/2th Reich.

You could hardly have shot yourself in the foot more exquisitely than you did in your choice of the poster-child victim, Melissa Busekros, one of the most innocent, charming 15-year-old girls since Anne Frank. What loving American parent could look at a photo of her sweet face without wanting to reach out to adopt her, to protect her from the squad of jack-booted Thought Police that swarmed into her quiet home and took her away to your locked-down mental asylum for the grim crime of “schoolaphobia” … for the horrendous, twisted desire to be (gasp!) homeschooled?!

Madam Chancellor, you and your ingrown bureaucracy of edukrauts seem to have a little problem with the 21st century. The age of videotape and blogging is a hostile milieu for Nazi-style lies, like your infamous official declaration that Melissa was happier in your asylum and (later) her state-sponsored foster home than with her own family. That lie was delightfully blown sky-high when the scrappy little thing celebrated the night of her 16th birthday (a significant legal milestone in Germany) by going over the wall of her foster home and arriving unannounced on the doorstep of her delighted parents three hours after midnight.

Your clumsy style of lying calls to mind the wartime report of the U.S. Office of Strategic Services. Describing the Weltanschaung of your late predecessor, Mr. Hitler, it said:

“His primary rules were: Never allow the public to cool off; never admit a fault or wrong; never concede that there may be some good in your enemy; never leave room for alternatives; never accept blame; concentrate on one enemy at a time and blame him for everything that goes wrong; people will believe a big lie sooner than a little one; and if you repeat it frequently enough, people will sooner or later believe it.”

That clause about “never leave room for alternatives” rings a loud bell. One of your most inept officials commented on another family, after the Romeike children were forced into public school by police escort, by boldly stating, “The government is working to avoid future conflicts over homeschooling with one particular family by looking for possibilities to bring the religious convictions of the family into line with the unalterable school attendance requirement.”

Unalterable? Nein! You have a Bundestag in Berlin that sits and cranks out new laws by the carload, month after month. Of course you can alter the law. And in this particular case, you will eventually alter the law … because you’re on a collision course with 21st century enlightenment. The basic question is: “Who will win, the people of today’s Germany or Der F?hrer, ruling from the grave via his 1938 decree that took strict control over the education of all German children?”

Wolfgang Drautz, your consul general, has complained that your government “has a legitimate interest in countering the rise of parallel societies that are based on religion or motivated by different worldviews and in integrating minorities into the population as a whole.” [emphasis added]

Integrating minorities? Tell Herr Drautz he’s a classic luftmensch. You already have millions of unassimilated Turkish Muslims in Germany who have set up their own de facto legal districts in many cities, using Shariah law instead of German law. Why not go after them? Could it be that Christian homes are easier targets for cowards?

Parallel societies? Well, madam, let me tell you just a bit about them. You fear them so greatly that you are willing to trash your last 62 years of post-war image repairing, yet you’re missing the point that the homeschooling community is both parallel to and far superior to your own society, and they represent your best hope and best model for the future of Germany.

By and large, homeschooled kids don’t do drugs, don’t get in trouble with the law, don’t have psychological hangups or suicidal tendencies, don’t have sexual diseases or illegitimate babies, don’t waste their evenings watching junk TV and don’t drop out before graduation. All in all, they’re happy campers.

Instead, they learn to think for themselves, take on big challenges, look at life with eyes unclouded by government indoctrination programs, finish their homework hours before their public-school friends and most of all, they learn history, math, literature, science and the other basics far, far better than the inmates over at P.S. 138, who are bored out of the skulls by your dumbed-down, social-engineering curriculum.

After the third or fourth grade, they test one grade level higher than government-schooled students. And by the eighth grade, the average homeschooler tests at grade 12!

That’s why we have roughly 2 million homeschooled children in America, growing at a rate of 10-15 percent a year.

Madam Chancellor, wake up and smell the homegrown flowers. And please call off your storm troopers. They’re a disgrace to the great land that my ancestors called home.

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