You’ve heard dozens, maybe hundreds, of Chuck Norris jokes – or “facts” as they are often called on the Internet.
Now you can view one.
It may be the ultimate Chuck Norris joke for people who like to pass along funny items or peculiarities to their email lists.
It looks like an ordinary Google search page with the term “Chuck Norris” already plugged into the search bar.
But the results say: “Google won’t search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
It also offers the following suggestions:
- Run, before he finds you
- Try a different person
It’s the handiwork of Aaron Schlosberg, an Australian student, website developer and photographer.
“The goal of this site is to have the top Google ranking with the keywords “Chuck Norris” so that when these are searched for using the ‘I’m feeling lucky’ function, this page will appear,” he explains.
Well, you know what they say: Some people just have too much time on their hands.
WND columnist Chuck Norris has, indeed, been in the news recently. First it was Monday’s official endorsement of presidential candidate Mike Huckabee that set off firestorm of coverage nationally and internationally.
“Though [Rudy] Giuliani might be savvy enough to lead people, Fred Thompson wise enough to wade through the tides of politics, [John] McCain tough enough to fight terrorism, and [Mitt] Romney business-minded enough to grow our economy, I believe the only one who has all of the characteristics to lead America forward into the future is ex-Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee,” Chuck Norris wrote.
Chuck Norris in Honda ad
The commercial opens in an elegant restaurant.
Coffee is being poured into fine China.
A harpist is softly playing “Greensleeves” in the background.
Well-dressed and smiling ladies are gently conversing.
In walks a dirty-faced Chuck Norris clad in a black vest with black-gloved clenched fists at his side – surveying the room with suspicious eyes.
“Tough meets classy,” says the announcer. “The stylish, 4-door Ridgeline, built by Honda.”
Sources tell WND there may be another big Chuck Norris announcement coming soon – but don’t expect to find news of it at Google.
Chuck Norris has been writing his weekly column exclusively for WND since Oct. 23, 2006. The star of “Walker: Texas Ranger” and some of the biggest action pictures ever, Chuck Norris has talking to a new generation these days as part of an Internet craze for one-liners usually labeled not as jokes but as “facts.”
Here are some samples:
- “Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.”
- “They wanted to put Chuck Norris on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn’t tough enough for Chuck’s beard.”
- “Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.”
- “Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming that ‘Law & Order’ are the names of his left and right legs.”
- “Chuck Norris sleeps with a night-light because the dark is afraid of him.”
- “Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.”
- “There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.”
- “When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.”
- “When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.”
There are some 40,000 of these jokes, er, “facts” floating around the Net.
Chuck Norris’ career began, not in movies, television or in the world of Internet trivia. The man who has employed martial arts in so many of his pictures first came to the world’s attention as a real-life martial arts star. He was a six-time undefeated World Professional MiddleWeight Karate Champion. He was also a renowned teacher in the martial arts, with celebrity students including Steve McQueen, Bob Barker, Priscilla Presley and Donnie and Marie Osmond.
He has gone on to found the United Fighting Arts Federation with over 2,300 black belts all over the world. In 1997, Norris achieved another milestone in his life by being the first man ever in the Western Hemisphere to be awarded an eighth-degree Black Belt Grand Master recognition in the Tae Kwon Do system. This was a first in 4,500 years of tradition.
Norris is also a powerboat racer. In 1991, he and his team won the World Offshore Powerboat championship.
Then he went on to setting a new world record by racing a 38-foot Scarab boat 605 miles across the Great Lakes, from Chicago to Detroit, in 12 hours and 8 minutes.
In 1988, Norris wrote his autobiography, “The Secret of Inner Strength,” which became a New York Times best seller. He followed up a few years later with a second book, “The Secret Power Within: Zen Solutions to Real Problems.”
Asked how he would like to be remembered, Norris answered as a humanitarian. Here are some his efforts on that score:
- As spokesman for United Way, his eight-minute commercial helped bring in over $2 billion.
- Veterans Administration spokesman, visiting V.A. hospitals and speaking with World War II, Korean and Vietnam War veterans – including one from World War I.
- Actively involved with the Make A Wish Foundation for 29 years.
- He has won the Jewish Humanitarian Man of the Year Award.
For Norris, however, the most rewarding accomplishment was the creation of his Kick-Start Foundation. With the help of President Bush, he implemented a program teaching the martial arts to 150 high-risk children at M.C. Williams Middle School in Houston, Texas, as part of the school curriculum. The program was so successful in helping to instill discipline and respect in the kids, as well as getting them out of gangs, that the program is now in 30 schools with more than 4,200 young boys and girls actively participating.
Norris and his wife, Gena, last year joined the board of directors of the National Council on Bible Curriculum In Public Schools with the quest of helping students understand the Bible’s impact on history and literature. Both Norrises are featured in a popular television public service announcement that encourages citizens to bring the Bible back to America’s public schools as an available elective course of study. The announcements are aired on several national networks.
The Norris announcements inform viewers that they can call the National Council on Bible Curriculum in Public Schools to receive information on how any citizen can help their local school board implement the NCBCPS curriculum. Already this year a record 49 new school districts have decided to offer “The Bible in History and Literature” course. Nationwide, 370 school districts have approved the course for use in over 1,350 schools in 37 states. More than 93 percent of school boards approached with the curriculum have voted to implement it, and the NCBCPS materials have never been legally challenged.
WND was the commentary forum that first launched David Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly and others, including Farah, into national syndication. It also recently launched weekly columns by “Ten Commandments” Judge Roy Moore, Home School Legal Defense Association founder Michael Farris and entertainer Pat Boone.