Now that Americans have learned how to get their Chinese laptop up and running with help from a call center in India, the Orange County Register announced that some of its newspaper editing will be outsourced to New Delhi.

The newspaper assured employees this would not affect staffing levels. Well, certainly not in New Delhi. After a brief pause for hand wringing over the recent newspaper circulation declines (another 3.6 percent fewer readers) and the sure-to-follow layoffs, the newsroom true believers across the industry have resumed business as usual.

Among their current efforts would be campaigning for Barack Obama, bending over to facilitate the homosexual lobby’s continuing assault on straight America, denigrating religion and believers – except, of course, Islamists – who generally cut off the heads of journalists who denigrate their faith.

Then there’s the economy, which must be made to look as bad as possible, to coincide with Obama’s message of “change.” This doesn’t count as campaigning, though, if in the last paragraph of the story you mention the actual statistics, which contradict the doom-and-gloom headline and preceding 18 paragraphs.

Business reporting is little better. There seems to be an underlying assumption in newsrooms that for-profit entities are run by evil, money-grubbing scum (except newspapers), and that the bulk of employees are forced to compromise themselves to put bread on the table. Nonprofit entities are presumed to be run by altruistic leaders and dedicated, selfless employees fighting an uphill battle to undo the carnage left in the wake of the for-profit sector.

Oh, and let’s not forget the many and varied ills of the health care industry. Doctors, dentists, hospitals and health insurers are all ripping off their customers by demanding to be paid for their services, which include saving and extending our lives in previously unimagined ways through new and better technology. This, of course, should all be “free.”

Then there’s “racism.” This manifests itself as more black criminals locked up in jail than whites, more blacks dropping out of school than whites, and more Blacks with stubbed toes. Racism is only good when it is repackaged as affirmative action and used against whites and Asians. This way it can be used to teach these upstarts that effort, achievement and intact families are no substitute for having the right skin color and the right political views.

Oddly enough, the “diversity” that affirmative action is supposed to produce is entirely absent in one very prominent industry: the newsroom. There, people of every conceivable skin color and gender cocktail are eagerly welcomed – provided they show no intellectual or political diversity in their writings. “You ain’t one of those free-market conservatives in drag, are you, Frederika?” Oh, “And are you, or have you ever been in the past, a member of the College Republicans?”

Global warming (which is going to kill us all in 1,024 days, 16 hours, and 12 seconds, according to the latest computer models created by saintly environmentalists and paid for by clueless corporate donors and coerced taxpayers) must be hammered into the population’s thick skulls until they “get it” and abandon their consumptive lifestyle. Toward this end, dissenting scientific views can only be published if they are ridiculed within the article or an ink-offset touting the prevalent newsroom view is published along side it. (Keep in mind, this is on the news, not editorial pages.)

Still, the decline in newspaper circulation is baffling to many.

“So, Frederika – why ain’t people buying our newspaper no more?”

“Well, that’s a dumb question, Straight Eddie. Just look at this press release from the Center for the Advancement of Leftist Causes. They say it’s the Internet.”

(Newsroom editor shouts from his office:) “Hey, Frederika, great scoop! Go with that story for page one!”

Related special offers:

“Stop the Presses: The Inside Story of the New Media Revolution”

“POISON PRESS: How the big media’s death throes are heralding a stunning information revolution”

Note: Read our discussion guidelines before commenting.