Kay Painter now speaks at retreats, churches, conferences and other events about her abortion, telling a real-life no-holds-barred story of pain and guilt.

“The instant I heard my baby’s helpless body hit the garbage can, I KNEW! I had just killed my own flesh and blood, an innocent life. I was panic-stricken, the nurse callously told me to ‘calm down, in a few days all would be back to normal,'” she says.

“Normal? No one forewarned me of the repercussions of an abortion. It was a simple procedure of removing ’tissue,’ so why the pain, the sudden emptiness? I awoke night after night to the sound of screams, they were mine!”

Painter’s experience now has been documented by Operation Outcry, an outreach of The Justice Foundation.

The organization is trying to collect a million stories to dispel the myth that abortion helps women.

Justice Foundation President Allan Parker says the organization already has collected some such stories and submitted them to the U.S. Supreme Court and other courts where issues of abortion were pending, and they have been acted on by the justices.

In a recent U.S. Supreme Court ruling, the justices cited, “whether to have an abortion requires a difficult and painful moral decision” that is “fraught with emotional consequence.” The decision also observed “severe depression and loss of esteem can follow.”

Such observations come from testimonies of women who speak with the Justice Foundation, and when formalized in such court rulings their experiences ultimately have an impact.

It was a case decided by the 8th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in affirmation of a South Dakota law requiring abortionists to tell a woman the abortion “will terminate the life of a whole, separate, unique, living human being” that the impact was evident. The lower court cited the Supreme Court quotations from the abortion survivors.

“The women of Operation Outcry and other women are also extremely pleased that the 8th Circuit Court of Appeals cited the portion of the Supreme court’s recent Gonzales v. Carhart decision in which the testimony of post-abortive women of Operation Outcry was cited to show that ‘some women come to regret their choice to abort the infant life they once created and sustained. Severe depression and loss of esteem can follow,'” the organization said in a statement this month.

The pain of such personal accounts is revealing.

“The nightmares continued, the depression got deeper, and I found myself detached from everyone and everything,” Painter says in her testimony.

Even another baby didn’t change things.

“The abortion followed me through the next 16 years, bringing isolation, bad choices, horribly ugly divorce, unspeakable shame, terrible loneliness, and … depression,” she said.

She finally gave up. “There are no words to express the deep dark hole I found myself in, no phrase to describe the depth of my despair. God placed it on my heart to drive directly to my doctor’s office, where I was rushed into a private exam room. There I took the first step to healing by ‘telling.'” she said. Daily visits to a Christian counselor were set up, and she eventually regained her life, she reports.

The Justice Foundation’s program is has provided online forms for women to contribute their story. Those will be joined with other stories and used to support life issues in court disputes, as in the Gonzales v. Carhart case, which affirmed a ban on partial birth abortion, the organization says.

The group already has sworn testimonies from more than 2,000 women who have suffered from abortion, including its grief, depression and other trauma.

“Abortion hurts women,” said Caron Strong, national director for Operation Outcry. “All forms of abortion have horrific consequences, and we believe that abortion never should be allowed.”


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