Want the federal government to bail you out of your current financial pressures? Simple. Just claim the end of the world will occur if you don’t get the money and get it fast. Make sure to use terms such as “meltdown,” “Armageddon” and “abyss.” Pepper it with millions of potential job losses and you too can reap billions overnight from a panicked Congress.

It all started back at the first of the year. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and congressional Democrats in concert with democratic president George Bush warned if we didn’t stimulate the economy we would slip into a recession. So overnight the geniuses passed HR 5140, “The Stimulus Act of 2008,” on Feb. 13. At light speed for the federal government, checks for a whopping $600 sped their way to millions of Americans to save us from the Dark Ages.

It did not do much, other than waste $165 billion, just as I predicted on “Your World with Neil Cavuto.” Yet as best I can see, the end of the world as we know it did not occur. The abyss was not visited and the only meltdowns were the imaginary ice flows in Al Gore’s global warming fantasy.

Then came Bear Stearns. March 13 we were told that without a bailout of the Wall Street investment bank we would experience a complete collapse. So our friendly government coaxed JP Morgan to buy Bear Stearns with the financial help of the American taxpayer.

Secretary Paulson was quoted on several Sunday shows as saying, “I’m convinced we are going to come out of this situation very strong.”

Yeah right! Net result? … $30 billion more.

On Sept. 7, Fannie and Freddie had to be rescued or else barefoot children would be cast out of homes that were in default and major cities would look like the streets of New York circa 1929. And after the scare tactics stopped, the taxpayers were tagged with another $200 billion.

And that was just the start.

Within 10 days, the insurance giant AIG was on the verge of total collapse. Now we were talking about a “total systemic failure of the system.” The counter party risk would be such that one-third of the earth’s population would be unemployed and potentially starve to death. And when the stream of vitriolic pepper spray stopped, we coughed up another $85 billion.

Again that was just a down payment because spa treatments are getting rather expensive.

Twelve days later on Sept. 28, our brilliant and fearless leaders who were running around Capitol Hill like chickens with their heads surgically removed passed the “Emergency Economic Stabilization Act” aka: the TARP, to save mankind from total annihilation. Of course it only passed after the piggies in Congress added billions in pork. It was so essential to save the world one would think it would have passed without pork, but not in our country.

The TARP was an interesting process to observe. Its supporters warned if it was not passed by the weekend, overseas markets would melt down, confidence would be lost and the end “for sure this time” was inevitable. Then two weeks passed and billions were added in pork. Many, including myself, were amazed we survived two weekends when Paulson and Pelosi said we could not. Once again you and I are stuck for another $700 billion.

Am I the only one starting to see a pattern here?

Now we are told by Gov. Strickland from Ohio the world really, really will end. He is talking three million jobs lost and America down the tubes if Detroit doesn’t get a bailout. Of course the first time the Big Three were on the Hill we were told one million jobs would be lost. Numbers have a tendency to grow when politicians see the fear speech is not working as effectively as it was back in February.

We need to save the carmakers or blood will be running in the streets of major midwest cities. Action is essential. And this time it is the laughingly low price of a $15 billion down payment on a tab some are saying may run $125 billion to really make it work.

I have said it every month since February and I am saying it again today. STOP THE BAILOUTS. And get the government out of the business of trying to save us. Their efforts have done nothing but make things worse.

Government-managed markets never work. Never have and never will.

If government wants to help they need to reduce their size, stop wasteful spending, reduce business taxes, reduce personal taxes, eliminate the ridiculous “mark to market rule,” reduce capitol requirements and loan loss reserves for solvent banks and enforce laws in order to punish people who abuse the system. A perp walk or two are long overdue.

That would be a helpful and productive contribution from Congress, so don’t hold your breath. That would require them doing the right thing. And recently they prefer to scare us versus serving us.

If you are one of the millions who believes you are entitled to a piece of all the bailout money being thrown at the “end of the world” problems, I suggest you move fast. The American people are waking up to the truth and soon will demand the insanity of “Bailout Nation” be stopped.

Note: While I am honored that Larry Kudlow continues to use the term “Bailout Nation,” I have been using that term since Feb. 13 of this year. I guess imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

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