Editor’s note: Do you need something to smile about? Every day, WND selects the best joke offered up by readers and contributors to its Laughlines forum and brings it to you as the WND Joke of the Day. Here is today’s offering:
A cowboy named Bud was watching his herd in a remote mountainous
pasture in Idaho when suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust
cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan
sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks, “If I tell you
exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give
me a calf?”
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone and surfs to a NASA page
on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix
on his location, which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that
scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop
and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds he gets an e-mail on his Palm Pilot that the image has
been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected
Excel spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few
minutes, gets a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his
hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and turns to the cowboy and
says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”
“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on, amused, as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”
The young man thinks for a second and says, “Okay, why not?”
“You’re a congressman for the U.S. government,” says Bud.
“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”
“No guessing,” said the cowboy. “You showed up here even though
nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew,
to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than
me you are; and you don’t know a thing about cows … this is a herd of
“Now give me back my dog.”