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The only good kind of unemployment

Posted By Janet Porter On 11/10/2009 @ 12:00 am In Commentary | Comments Disabled

The unemployment rate is just about to go up again.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, unemployment is at 10.2 percent, but may be as high 22.1 percent according to Dr. Jerome Corsi, who exposed massive underreporting from the underemployed and those who have just given up. If only we had listened to Obama who said unemployment would rise to 8 percent without his “stimulus” package. We’d all be a lot better off.

But whether the unemployment rate is over 10 percent or over 22 percent, one thing’s for sure: It’s about to go even higher.

To the 220 members of Congress who voted for socialized medicine, complete with health-care rationing and denial of life-saving services, and to the members in the Senate who are contemplating doing the same, let me give you something you’re going to be needing: The “want ads”:

I’d like to say that there are many opportunities open to you in the private sector, but because of your socialized programs for which you’ve been voting, there may not be work for you next year when you’ll be needing it most.

Go “green” and let the world know what really needs recycling in 2010 with the magnetic bumper sticker: “Recycle Congress”

But, I’m sure there’ll be something fitting for you in the private sector. After all, you’ve been a member of Congress. I’m interested in helping you find another line of work – let’s see, what would be a good job placement for you? My first thought was in retail, but that wouldn’t work because, even as a clerk at McDonald’s, there is a likelihood you’d be handling money – something you have shown is, well, above your pay grade.

I know you have a lot of cards and handouts with your picture on them, so I thought real estate might be a fit. But your policies that gave loans to people who couldn’t save enough for a down payment (or mortgage payment) crashed the housing market, so there aren’t jobs there, either. Maybe a bank foreclosure officer … nah, too many bank failures for employment there.

I know! A used-car salesman! That sounds perfect, except that ever since the government took over the auto industry, closing down the productive dealerships (who happened to be “Republican”), there just aren’t many jobs in GM – Government Motors.

But as your previous employer, I feel like the least I can do is write you a letter of reference. Maybe that will help open some doors.

Dear prospective employer,

I am writing about Congressman/Senator ____________ (your name here) who voted for the government takeover of health care, energy and speech. While this candidate for employment in the private sector has experienced strong verbal skills when the extreme media has written and repeated the talking points of their agenda, it is unclear how well they will perform on their own, so I’m not sure they would fit within your communications or marketing departments. They have shown a disdain for the free market and free enterprise, so I would not recommend them for a job in sales or innovation.

Judging by the almost 5 million pink slips that triple the size of the Washington Monument and have risen to the level of each member of Congress’ armpits, their job performance has been brought into question, and they have difficulty following instructions of their employers. Do you have any openings where they don’t have to answer to anyone? Congressman/Senator ________ really enjoys working at least under those perceived conditions.

I would also caution you not to give them a company credit card nor any access to money unless you have no problem with your company going into debt by the trillions. They will not be needing a health-care plan, however, because before they left their last job, they required you to have health care with which they wouldn’t be caught dead. That kind of treatment is for you, your remaining employees and your families. They and their families will have all the health care that you only dream about.

I would also steer clear of giving them a company car since they were the ones who have pushed for taxing you and your remaining employees for simply driving to work. Also, should you be inclined to hire them, do not allow them access to the thermostat – as they have mandated that heating or cooling your office will stick you with the largest tax increase in American history.

In the event that you are pro-marriage, I would keep that to yourselves as this candidate for employment will likely report any such office discussion as a “hate crime” to the federal government.

Please disregard this letter if you are one of the thousands of companies that will no longer be recruiting for candidates for employment next year, since this potential employee won’t be “officially” seeking work until 2010. And if they continue their current voting trend, there is a strong likelihood your company will be out of business and in the line for crumbs from the socialized government standing right next to them.

Signed,

Janet Porter

Former Employer

P.S. www.SendCongressAPinkSlip.com


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