As a follow-up to last week’s column on Angry Young Men, it’s worth examining why we have similar quantities of Angry Young Women plaguing our society.
What is an angry young woman? I believe it’s a young woman unsure of her place in the world. She is buffeted by divergent influences and mixed societal expectations. Normal biological desires for a husband and children are twisted and even ridiculed (“A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”). Any expressed wish for a traditional career as a homemaker is quashed at a young age by a prevailing feminist mentality in schools and colleges. The resulting mental conflict often makes young women confused and angry.
The vast majority of young women start down this angry path due to either a lack of parental supervision or, more frequently, the lack of a father figure. Fathers are unquestionably critical in shaping their daughters’ confidence. A strong father can guide a girl toward guarding her reputation, virtue and self-esteem. A weak or absent father reduces a girl into concluding her only worth is her sexuality, making her susceptible to feminist influences.
Without sufficient paternal attention and guidance, a girl often seeks male attention in the only way she knows how. Rather than being taught modesty in behavior and dress, she is encouraged by her peers (and allowed by her parents) to dress like a skank. This brings her a measure of false power by attracting boys. Following the logical sequence, she then comes to regard her virtue as either unnecessary, a commodity, or an encumbrance to her expression as a “sexual being.” Forget the brain power. For teen girls, they’re told it’s all about sex. So much for feminism’s great advances.
Ultimately, of course, many angry young women become pregnant. But that’s OK. There are lots of societally approved ways to deal with this.
A lot of these women are angry at their weakness or helplessness, and weak helpless women get involved in feminist thinking because it offers an external prop they can’t find within themselves. Weak, angry women often chose the wrong kind of man to marry (resulting in abuse or infidelity). Weak, angry women may not trust men because their weak or absent fathers never protected them from abuse or harm (and may even have been the perpetrator).
Some angry young women are raised by feminist mothers who teach them that women are inherently superior and (as modern television shows and commercials depict) men are nothing more than a bunch of bumbling idiots who can’t be trusted to do anything right. Some are influenced by angry adult women in college (Women’s Studies Departments) who teach that men are to be regarded with contempt, not admiration.
Whatever the reason, it’s my theory that girls who grow up with a strong, loving father in the home emerge with glowing self-confidence and self-esteem. These girls don’t hate men, nor do they hate themselves. These young women are confident enough to dress and behave appropriately because they know they’re worth more than the sum of their body parts. They learn to value their intellect as well as their biological differences and feminine qualities. Strong, non-angry women can throw off the false and fragile “strength” promised by feminism and embrace true womanhood.
I happen to live in a place where most fathers take their role in their daughters’ lives as an obligation and an honor. I know several young women who would never dream of getting married without a) a proper courtship from a young man, and b) her father’s blessing (literally). And no, they’re not getting married at 16 either. While feminists would look with horror at this kind of “control,” I can testify that these young women will walk down the aisle on their wedding day with their virtue and self-esteem intact. They’ll have no regrets from a legacy of mindless hookups. Is this such a bad thing? They can do this because they are not angry young women. They had a father to teach them to be happy. And they’ll have an honorable husband to form the healthy “whole” that is a lasting marriage.
But angry young women stay angry – and confused. They are capable of wreaking the most horrific damage on society and their families. Whenever I touch on this subject in my columns, I get heart-wrenching e-mails from men forbidden to see their own children by wives who decided to “discover” themselves by abandoning their husbands and marital commitments.
Before I’m accused of trying to put women back in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant, let me assure you I have the greatest admiration for strong, intelligent, educated women with careers. (I have more of a problem if those women have minor children in day care, but that’s a separate issue.) No, what I’m saying is that raising girls NOT to be angry yields young women who are confident enough to select traditional or nontraditional roles out of choice, not fear; out of a true desire for a career, not because they’re pressured into avoiding their biological programming because it betrays the feminist thought control.
I’ve written before about my contempt for modern feminism and its societal and familial repercussions. I truly believe the feminist movement has a lot to answer for in emasculating men and in giving women a false idea of what will make them happy. But one of its most regretful legacies is producing angry young women incapable of realizing the joy and beauty of femininity.
My husband and I have no sons to raise to manhood. But we have two daughters who are becoming happy and confident young women. Someday our girls will marry decent young men and they’ll raise another generation of secure, happy, stable children. Now that’s a legacy I can admire.
I truly believe it takes bravery (especially in this politically correct climate) to admit there might be something to human nature, something that’s been honed through thousands of years of civilization. We’ve been twiddling with human nature in a series of social experiments in the past 40 years.
And look where it’s gotten us.