WASHINGTON – Afghanistan’s Taliban terrorists are training monkeys to shoot American soldiers with automatic weapons, according to British and Chinese media agencies.
In the Taliban stronghold of Waziristan, journalists took pictures of some “monkey soldiers” holding AK-47s and Bren light machine guns.
The official People’s Daily in China explained the emergence of “monkey soldiers” as just another facet of “asymmetrical warfare.”
“The United States launched the war in Afghanistan using the world’s most advanced weapons, such as highly-intelligent robots to detect bombs on roadsides and unmanned aerial vehicles to attack major Taliban targets,” said the report. “In response, the Taliban forces have tried any possible means and figured out a method to train monkeys as ‘replacement killers'” against American troops.
The Chinese state report also said the Taliban was using the monkeys “to arouse Western animal protectionists to pressure their governments to withdraw troops from Afghanistan.”
People’s Daily suggested the attack of the killer monkeys in Afghanistan was payback for Americans who first used “monkey soldiers” in Vietnam.
Actually, in the 1920s, Russian dictator Josef Stalin ordered his scientists to breed a half-ape, half-man super-army that would be impervious to pain and not fussy about rations.
“I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat,” Stalin was quoted as saying.
The experiment ended in failure as Stalin’s top men could not cross apes and men.