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Actor Todd Denson and me, Georgia, February 2011

“Action!” I say, “Clippy, clippy, paper clippies” and walk through the library door with a box of paper clips. I see my husband on the floor with a gash to his head. I see my daughter’s suitor running away. I assume there has been an assault. I grab a sword from a wall decoration and pursue the assailant. And, “Cut!”

I’m in Atlanta shooting a comedy for the 168 Film Festival, and I’ve been running up and down stairs in a “Gone With the Wind” mansion, wielding a sword and screaming for three days now. It’s a fake sword, of course, rubber. Acting (pretend) is so much fun.

There is a lot of waiting, though, on the set; waiting for the lighting guys and grips to do their thing. So I start talking with the gracious homeowners who are letting us use their gorgeous home as a set. Their son is a Marine who just returned from Iraq and wrote a book, “The Quest for Absolute Truth” by Russell A. Newman. I’m very impressed with the book, the war hero and his parents who have worked hard, achieved the American Dream and offered up their only son to risk his life defending our liberty. They must be so proud. I’m proud to know them. This is reality.

4LFilms production, “The Paper Clip”

“Action!” I run toward my daughter’s suitor and attempt to stab him with the sword. He ducks and my sword pierces a priceless family portrait. “Cut!” The prop worked! We all have a good laugh. “Action!” Frustrated that I cannot retrieve my sword from the wall, I pick up another picture and smash it over the suitor’s head! “Cut!” The prop worked perfect. We all high-five each other. This is fantasy.

Waiting for the next shot, I’m outside staring at a bird’s nest buried in a thorny brown winter bush. I’m trying to decide whether or not I should steal it. It looks abandoned. Don’t birds fly south for winter and then build new nests in spring? My phone rings and it’s the only rapper I am a fan of, Polatik, aka David Sauselito. He wants me to hear his new rap, “Why Her?” “It’s a testimony about the situation my family is going through right now, and how we are dealing with it.”

I am immediately snapped back into reality. I met Polatik on the Tea Party Express bus. David is a pastor who used to be a criminal. Jesus changed his life, and hanging out with David is like attending a 24/7 Bible study. Now he is going through this trial. I hang up my phone and say a prayer for him.

 

Me and Polatik, Prescott, Ariz., Freedom Rally II, 2010

“Action!” I am thrashing my fake sword again, this time from a moving golf cart as the suitor flees through our big, iron gate. I love pretending. The suitor shouts, “But I love her!” My beautiful, fake daughter (Carissa Capobianco) swoons. My fake husband (Andrew Masset), with a fake bandaged head shouts back, “We don’t care!” and the gates close on the handsome, innocent suitor. “Cut!”

Driving home from the set, I flick on the radio, and I’m flipped back into reality again. The Egyptian riots have spread to Libya, Bahrain, Algeria, Wisconsin and Ohio. The Muslims, the Globalists, the Communists and Obama are encouraging the mayhem. Obama, who continues to “overwhelm the system,” has just turned in a joke budget and strangely picked now to send out a decree against traditional marriage. (Obama, who is intent on crushing the middle class, signed some paper in ’09 that made the tax of my friend, a small-business owner, go from 4 percent to 40 percent, nearly bankrupting him.) Obama’s buddy Rahm, who is ineligible to run for office in Chicago, just won the mayoral election, and Democratic legislators are fleeing. Obama is sending union rioters to attack a Wisconsin governor, like he attacked Arizona for defending their border. He is “community organizing” chaos so that we can be a Third World country like the one he came from.

I keep telling people Obama is “the enemy within.” But the liberals live in a fantasy world. He’s post-racial, so it’s all good.

I’m studying this nonsense as fast as I can, trying to keep up. I almost understand “collective bargaining” thanks to Ann Coulter.

Before I catch my plane back to reality, I squeeze in a historical tour of author Margaret Mitchell’s home. She wrote “Gone With the Wind,” my favorite movie. I named my daughter Scarlet. The tour guide explains how much of the novel is similar to Margaret’s real life – her masculinity, her lack of mothering instincts, her impatience, her willfulness, her love of life, the lion head banister, her mother’s illness, etc. You write what you know.

Margaret was a real person. Scarlett was a pretend person.

Margaret Mitchell / Scarlett O’Hara

If only the liberals could understand the difference. Spending money to fix a deficit is a pretend solution. Cutting programs is a real solution. Union entitlements are a pretend solution. Balancing the budget is a real solution. Amnesty for illegals is a pretend solution. Border control is a real solution. Giving free stuff to the poor is a pretend solution. Giving them a job is a real solution. A stimulus bill is a pretend solution. A free market for job creation is a real solution. Pouring tax payer money into public schools is a pretend solution. Good parenting is a real solution. Communism is a pretend solution. Capitalism is a real solution.

It’s fun to play Scarlett O’Hara in a movie, but if you keep behaving like her when you get home – you’re insane.

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