Modern politics is built upon the premise that elections are decided by so-called independent voters. Therefore, early in the election cycle, politicians promise their entrenched party base they will deliver the ideological mother lode this election cycle, if only they are voted into office. This is to motivate political workers to sign up early for the campaign effort. To put their heart and “sole” into the campaign, so to speak. And did I mention to donate their wallet to the cause?

So-called independent voters rarely hear this early campaign rhetoric. That’s because they seldom pay attention to elections more than a month or so in advance. And by that time, the nation’s choices are effectively narrowed down to incompetent-A verses has-been-B. (Both of whom are flanked [or is it flacked?] by their now much more ideologically extreme supporters.)

The “independents” don’t hear the harsh political rhetoric of the left or right politicians use to motivate their more avid ideological fans to become volunteers and contributors. Instead, “independents” hear muddled and confusing message-A from one side, and muddled and confusing message-B from the other.

Often, vague promises of financial gain at the squealing federal-feed-trough are tossed out to the independent audience, in an effort to get them to care enough to go to the polls and vote for incompetent-A rather than has-been-B. Or vice-versa.

Sometimes the political base hears these promises and becomes disillusioned. But by then they have so much invested in has-been-B’s election over incompetent-A’s possible ascension to power that they will vote for their candidate, even though they have become disillusioned. After all – isn’t the other guy or gal even worse? I mean, just look at the people surrounding him or her!

What a great way to run elections! Is this a great country, or what? Neither incompetent-A or has-been-B have plans much beyond rewarding their friends and punishing their enemies – if they can find any after they assume power. Well, they do have one overwhelming passion: Winning the next election.

Independents, therefore, are nothing more than self-indulgent sloths who have brought the nation to its knees. They’re too lazy to be concerned with the nation’s problems (as long as they’re not directly affected). And they’re too self-centered to look beyond their own narrow self-interest.

In other words, so-called independents are the perfect voters to elect and re-elect the incumbents that have spent the nation into bankruptcy, scuttled efforts to drill for domestic oil and offered taxpayer subsidies to prop up corporate failures.

Thanks, independents. We owe it all to you.

Note: Read our discussion guidelines before commenting.