Donald Trump has a new catchphrase, said Rush Limbaugh this week. Instead of “you’re fired,” Trump can start quipping, “I won.”

Like every conservative talk radio host this week, Rush weighed in on the president’s decision to finally release his birth certificate – but only under embarrassing public pressure from real estate mogul and “reality TV star” Donald Trump (FREE audio).

Rush was quick to remind listeners of his view that Trump “is not a conservative” – while adding that the current crop of supposed Republican presidential contenders isn’t very inspiring (FREE audio).

Mark Steyn sat in for Rush on Thursday and Friday. In response to a recent spate of news stories about political correctness gone mad, Steyn remarked, “Take the most absurd joke that’s around today and it will be law in 20 years time.”

Mark Levin

Mark Levin, however, declared, “Trump got ‘punked’ today” over the Obama birth certificate issue.

Levin has been critical of Trump’s “conservative credentials” ever since the real estate mogul began testing the presidential waters (FREE audio).

Mark Levin took what he called his “only birther call of the year” this week. The caller engaged Levin on one of the host’s specialties: the Constitution (FREE audio).

In response to another caller, Levin proposed an “Oprah Tax” instead of a carbon tax: “Look at all that food she eats. Somebody has to grow it,” he pointed out, before speculating on the environmental damage being caused by the TV host’s “flatulence.” (FREE audio).

Michael Savage

“There’s something very awry when Michael Savage is the voice of reason” – that was pretentious Vanity Fair scribe James Wolcott’s backhanded compliment, part of a bitter bleat against the “birthers” and “tea-party coots” he’d been forced to interact with while running a recent errand to the drug store.

I know conservative talk radio fans are loyal, but does anyone in 2011 still carry around a “blaring” “portable radio” these days, let alone one supposedly “stickered with tea-party slogans,” as Wolcott suggests? In New York City, no less. I for one smell … well, let’s call it the other b-word: baloney. Not to mention the fact that Savage’s program airs in the evenings, and I can’t picture a gentleman of Mr. Wolcott’s delicate sensibilities daring to venture out at night. To shop, that is.

On the air this week, Savage reminded listeners that every attempt throughout history to enforce economic “equality” had failed.

“Be very careful, indeed, with your call for the redistribution of wealth, and fairness,” he said. “It always ends up with a mountain of skulls,” citing the massacres instituted by Mao, Stalin and Pol Pot.

Ushering in a segment about Obama with the classic Platters song “The Great Pretender,” Savage launched into a clever observation about asparagus, “skunk like” urine odors, genetics and presidential rhetoric (FREE audio):

Sean Hannity

Hannity accused Obama of blaming a “scapegoat” for rising gas prices, after Attorney General Eric Holder accused oil companies of “committing fraud.” Hannity has a simple solution to the energy crisis: drill in ANWAR (FREE audio).

As part of his series on 2012 presidential candidates, Hannity interviewed former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson, asking him if he was more of a conservative or a libertarian. Johnson insisted he was a “conservative Republican” (FREE audio).

Laura Ingraham

Her Fox News colleague Bill O’Reilly was Laura’s guest this week, as did Pat Buchanan, both of them pondering the proposition that America is a “nation in decline.” Then Congressman Ron Paul came on to discuss one of his areas of expertise, the Federal Reserve.

Senior Vice President of the Dole Nutrition Institute Jennifer Grossman talked to Laura about one of the first lady’s obsessions: the supposed proliferation of “food deserts” across America, where presumably children are starving and need “help” from the government.

Glenn Beck

Glenn Beck spoke to tea-party favorite Rep. Allen West, R-Fla. In this entertaining interview, Beck cajoled West into admitting he might run for president (sort of) – and would be happy to produce a birth certificate (FREE audio).

Following the president’s “birth certificate” press conference, Beck and his on-air crew made fun of the inevitable questions some Americans will have with the document that was produced, joking: “Breaking news here guys. The X to mark the birth as a single birth rather than a twin or triplet is half outside the box. The X is not fully inside the box indicating it was a single birth. What we now know is that Barack Obama – he seems to be on vacation – there are three Obamas, and they’re spread across the nation. He was campaigning in three places at once.”

And now, from the left side of the dial …

Industry watcher Brian Maloney reported on his Radio Equalizer blog that “just hours before her arrest, the libtalker who disrupted Tuesday evening’s town-hall meeting with [Rep. Allen West, R-Fla.], took to the airwaves to rail against the freshman incumbent, looking to pack the event with fellow ‘progressives'” (FREE audio).

Maloney corrects reports that Nicole Sandler was a “former Air America Radio host,” clarifying that she is merely a regular fill-in for progressive host Randi Rhodes. In fact, Maloney was working in that capacity right before her public outburst.

Those who favor radio censorship frequently cite the horrendous massacre of an estimated 800,000 people in Rwanda, after one tribe took to the airwaves and ordered their supporters to kill their opponents. These would-be radio censors believe that the medium is a lethal weapon that can’t be trusted in the “wrong” hands (in much the same way they feel about guns).

Normally I find those arguments easy to refute – for one thing, Rwanda has little in common with any civilized Western nation – but clearly, Nicole Sandler was so fired up by her own unhinged rhetoric that she ran out and committed a crime! Maybe those Fairness Doctrine advocates of “civility” are on to something after all …

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