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Shoes? Check.

Liquids? Check.

Babies? Check

Underpants? Check.

Turbans? Not yet.

Why not?

Now that the entire air-traveling population of the United States has been, and continues to be, insulted, invaded, degraded, groped, grabbed, felt-up and down, to say nothing of being forced to waste precious time because of that particular group of young Muslim men who find it their calling to kill as many infidels as they can manage, why is it that certain things aren’t checked at the airport by our crack teams of blue-gloved body-searchers?

I’ve seen all kinds of pat-downs at airports across the country. Not only are travelers subjected to searches of their body and clothing, but their belongings are also fair game to prying fingers and eyes. And if eyes aren’t enough, there are the X-rays that peer through everything and, of course, the latest innovation, that requires us to stand like criminals and have our entire body subjected to the eyes of strangers.

All this, on the off chance that maybe, just maybe, one of the passengers might be harboring some kind of explosive that will put an end to the upcoming trip before destination is reached, which certainly would take all the fun out of the trip.

Then again, with all these prying eyes and hands, I’ve never seen anyone wearing a turban being asked – or required – to take it off, undo it and prove it’s empty and safe, not only for the wearer but for the rest of the travelers.

The only thing that should be in a turban is the wearer’s head, but the only way to know for sure, is to examine it.

Turban? Check.

Is it necessary? Judging by a couple of recent suicide bomber killings in Afghanistan, it would seem the turban is the latest weapon of choice.

On July 27, the mayor of Kandahar, Ghulam Haider Hamidi, was blown to bits by a suicide bomber who had explosives hidden in his turban.

Hamidi was assassinated in a secure government building as he arrived for a meeting. One other person was killed and two were injured.

The turban-bomber also met his end, but then he was probably anticipating all those waiting virgins.

On Sept. 20, the millinery bombers struck again, this time in Kabul. There were two of them and at least one detonated the bomb hidden in his turban.

The target of the successful assassination was former Afghan President Burhanuddin Rabbani. He was to meet with two members of the Taliban who supposedly wanted to reconcile with the government.

Some reconciliation. As one of the men bowed and shook Rabbani’s hand, the turban-bomb detonated.

The explosion also killed four of Rabbani’s bodyguards and injured a presidential adviser.

The two turban-wearing killers also met their maker, which was the side effect they wanted – and, of course, all those waiting virgins.

Ah, to be a martyr for Allah. I guess they believe Muhammad would be proud.

The rest of us aren’t too keen on the idea, preferring to let nature take its course when deciding when our time on earth is over.

These latest killings bring to mind the worldwide uproar and ensuing violence because of cartoons of Muhammad printed in a Danish newspaper.

It was originally done to illustrate press freedom but led to firings, resignations, boycotts, death threats, riots and death.

The results so frightened non-Muslims that almost everyone bends over backward to accommodate the feelings of the followers of Muhammad, regardless of the circumstances.

Clearly, those mortally offended had no sense of proportion, to say nothing of sense of humor. The one cartoon that incited the most anger showed Muhammad wearing a turban that was a bomb.

Uh-oh. I think we’re on to something.

The newspaper editor apologized for it all, but the key cartoonist is still receiving death threats and recently barely survived an attack on his life in his fortified home.

Where does that leave us with suicide bombers detonating turban bombs?

We had real experience with explosive liquids, underwear, shoes, etc., etc., and only because the bombers in those cases were stopped before the explosion, are we subjected to those infernal airport searches.

We know that in other countries babies and children are wired to explode so we demand our infants are thoroughly searched – just in case.

But what about turbans? Do we avoid those searches because we’re afraid of offending Muslims?

Talk about tempting fate. Suppose one gets through and blows everyone to kingdom come?

What do we do – write it off to experience and hope for the best next time?

We already take chances with the burqa – woman’s clothing, but there have been successful suicide bombings by men under those veils.

It comes down to political correctness and fear. Islam has the West cowed and its followers know it.

We do too, but we lack the courage to admit it and deal with the ramifications.

Until then, take off your shoes and just about everything else.

Except, of course, your turban.

Follow Barbara Simpson on Facebook.

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