This is the Tim Tebow moment I’ve been holding out for. I wouldn’t unload my Tim Tebow feelings on you as long as the pro-Tebow cries thundered around God intervening to hand loyal son Timmy’s Broncos a Super Bowl victory; or even a touchdown on the first overtime play, to beat the Steelers and keep those Super Bowl hopes alive.
To me, God is no cosmic bellboy who takes time to monkey around with football. I think the Tim Tebow phenomenon is too important and on a different part of America’s playing field altogether. I’d cuddle up with the ball and take the sack rather than toy around with a Tebow narrative that rested on a God-implanted victory on a football field. Now, with the Broncos’ hopes nothing but a smoking crater, is the time to pass along my Tebow-take.
We had Iowa caucuses and a New Hampshire primary that told us a little about ourselves. Tim Tebow taught us a whole lot more of much greater importance. Tim Tebow offers very good news to America; a kind of good news that shines more clearly when you wipe the “Make-Room-For-God-in-Our-Huddle” smog off of your theological windshield. The good-hearted old farmer helps me get my Tim Tebow point across more than any gridiron glory.
The farmer let the boys in the area use one of his pastures to play baseball. One day as the farmer was walking by he cupped his hands to his lips and yelled to the outfielder, “What’s the score?”
“Twenty-five to nothing!” replied the outfielder.
“Twenty-five you or twenty-five them?” asked the farmer.
“Twenty-five them,” came the reply.
“You all ain’t doing too good, are you?” chided the farmer.
“Well,” yelled the outfielder, “It’s too early to tell. You see, our team ain’t been to bat yet!”
And there you have it, America. It’s too early to declare our once-better America a loser, a spent moral force, a shell of a once-upright people now fallen and surrendered to atheism, situation-ethics, God-hatred and opportunistic value-free hedonists who call it like they feel it and who’d sell you their grandmother and, for very little extra, deliver.
Our team just “ain’t been to bat yet!”
And when the first harbinger-messenger-symptom of a strong moral heartbeat like Tim Tebow comes along, that better America rises. Protect your hearing from the high-volume roar of approval; especially from those masses of Americans we thought didn’t exist or had switched over to the other side. It’s enough to give Satan sciatica.
Don’t yawn and skip away so fast. The anti-Communist Hungarian Revolution was triggered by the overnight emergence of millions of “Tim-Tebow-types”; God-fearing Hungarian patriots whom everybody thought had been terminally flattened into the “New Soviet Man” by Stalin’s politically correct steamroller. Warning to the right: This next paragraph is slightly simplified. Warning to the left: It is only very slightly simplified.
The Hungarian population went to bed Oct. 22, 1956, each one thinking he was the only God-believing, anti-Communist remaining. They woke up Oct. 23, 1956, realizing everybody else felt the same way.
Look at Tim Tebow! Not that it matters, but for openers, he’s so good-looking you want to smash your fist in his face. And he’s so wholesome if he were to sneeze he’d cure somebody. Tebow’s not the slightest bit shy to fall to his knees and render public gratitude to the Almighty, with uncounted millions on TV looking on. He appears to have none of the kind of “baggage” that keeps Newt Gingrich and many other public figures straining at the lifting of their licentious luggage. And you can be sure that if there’s a Tebow-bimbo hidden in the shadows of his lustrous narrative, that saga will erupt, with so many volunteer “geologists” on the job digging. Much less likely to be revealed are the details of Tebow’s shelling out a lot of money to make sure sick children get to come see the games.
At his early age, Tebow’s already achieved a financial success that, applying Tim Tebow-type values, stands to enrich him, his loved ones and the fortunate beneficiaries of his charities for decades to come. (Simple stuff: good investments. No drugs, no gambling, no whores, etc.) Tebow invites a Niagara of praise for his “family values” alone.
Hey, let’s measure Tim Tebow up against the 12 points of the Boy Scout Code: Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent. All 50 states are in this caucus, and he’s the most popular athlete in America.
Once we held a “Clean Limerick Contest” on radio. The winner:
God’s plan made a hopeful beginning.
Man spoiled his chances by sinning.
We trust that the story
Will end in God’s glory,
But at present the other side’s winning.
That “other side” is not the New England Patriots. And that other side may be unbeaten and un-tied, but thanks to Tim Tebow, they’re no longer unscored-on.