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Conservatives and their stupidity pills

Posted By Burt Prelutsky On 04/24/2012 @ 7:58 pm In Commentary,Opinion | No Comments

Quite honestly, the only people I ever hear from who are dopier than liberals are those who identify themselves as conservatives and insist that Republicans and Democrats are identical.

Anyone who would suggest that there is no difference between Nancy Pelosi and John Boehner or Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell is one very dumb bunny. No difference between the likes of Henry Waxman, Al Franken and Charles Rangel and Darrel Issa, Peter King and Paul Ryan? No difference between Joe Biden and Dick Cheney? No difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? You have to wonder what madcap pharmacist is supplying these alleged conservatives with their stupidity pills.

How can anyone who takes the Second Amendment seriously insist there’s no difference between the two parties when gun sales are booming, all thanks to such flame-throwing racists as Eric Holder, Al Sharpton and the Black Panthers? The good news is that income taxes on the gun industry have jumped 66 percent since Obama’s election, and it’s mainly due to increased sales, not Obama’s counterproductive tax policies. It’s ironic that the man who is most opposed to law-abiding citizens owning weapons not only selected Eric (“Operation Fast & Furious”) Holder to be his attorney general, but has personally done more to hype American gun sales than any prior president.

Even though the mainstream media have done everything in their power to cover up or at least downplay this administration’s scandals, even they couldn’t conceal the Secret Service hanky-panky down in Colombia. But, on the plus side, it has served to put the Service in a different light. In the past, one had to worry that if you wrote or said something disrespectful of Obama, angry agents would show up at your front door. Now, if they show up, it’s only 50-50 whether they’ve come to arrest you or because they heard you were throwing a party.

In a related matter, I heard that the cost of supplying Newt Gingrich, who continues to insist he is a viable candidate for the GOP nomination, with Secret Service protection runs the American taxpayer $38,000 a day. So this pathetic lump of humanity, who insists he is a fiscal conservative, wastes over a million dollars a month of our money for no other reason than to massage his blimp-sized ego!

For those of you who continue to insist that it makes absolutely no difference if the president is a Democrat or a member of the GOP, please keep in mind that if John Kerry had won the 2004 election, he would not have named John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. Instead, he would have seated a couple left-wingers in the mold of Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor. Now, by a show of hands, is there anyone out there who doubts that with six left-wingers on the high court, there would be the slightest chance they’d decide that Obamacare is unconstitutional?

In case you missed it, Harry Reid recently stated that old people love receiving junk mail. He insists they’d miss it and feel the world was passing them by if a ton of that crapola wasn’t shoved in their mailbox every day. Now if he were speaking for himself, that would be one thing. After all, it wouldn’t be unreasonable for Harry to be feeling lonely now that the number of Democrats in the Senate has gone from 60 to 53, and will soon be in the 40s. But when he starts generalizing about old people, I figure he’s including me. Well, speaking for myself and all the geezers I know personally, the two things I can say without fear of contradiction is that none of us wants to receive junk mail and none of us ever wants Harry Reid to dare speak on our behalf.

Rumor has it that, taking a leaf out of Barack Obama’s playbook, North Korea is blaming the failure of their missile launch on sabotage, bad weather and George W. Bush.

Speaking of Obama, I understand that his initial reaction to the news that Romney’s family preferred taking their beloved dog along on their vacations was to question why they would stick their pooch on the car roof instead of inside the picnic basket.


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