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Bill Nye the Abacus Guy

By Andrew Longman

Despite the fact that Macro-Evolution has been collapsing before the onslaught of accumulated data, TV personality Bill Nye has recently offered a nasty assault against all people who recognize the Creation.

Nye, a man who likes to claim he’s a pre-eminent scientist because he has a bachelor’s degree, is breathing hate-filled bigotry at people of religious conscience, in the name of science. I searched in vain for a publication on a serious scientific subject with Nye’s name in the author list. All I could really come up with is that he patented a ballet slipper and an abacus.

I’m not kidding. He patented an abacus.

Bill Nye the Abacus Guy claims, with a straight face, that evolution-deniers are taking us backward in scientific progress. Meanwhile, greatly advanced Mister Nye has successfully patented upgrades to the single most primitive calculational device known to man, a hot item obsoleted several millennia before the iPhone. He is a liberal progressive. Did I mention all his doctorates were “honorary”?

My published scientific work is in the field of nuclear science. Miraculously, I am a card-carrying Creationist. How could this possibly be? It seems that Mister Nye’s dour prediction – that science is going to be held back by someone’s position on evolutionary theory – cannot quite account for him ending up on an abacus and me doing physics. But wait. Is the abacus somehow secretly more “advanced” than we ever thought possible?

Anyway, Nye’s prejudicial slur against parents who believe in Creation is contemptible. But it’s far worse when coming from someone impersonating a scientist. Nye uses his megaphone to ignore data and slam tens of millions of good people; he’s not a scientist, but he plays one on TV.

Fifty years ago, “scientists” like Nye asserted confidently that all human beings obviously descended from hundreds of thousands of different lines of apes. In other words, every human being on the planet had come from thousands of genetic monkey-parents, and anyone who believed otherwise was a fool. Creationists were ridiculed without mercy for asserting bluntly that all human beings descended from one human male and one human female – one line – mere thousands of years ago.


The fact, established by secular, canonical science, has shown that all humanity descended from one human female, thousands of years ago. Will Bill Nye now apologize to Jews and Christians for ridiculing Eve as an unscientific fable? Despite the fact that real scientists who actually do science say that all human beings descended from one human male father less than 60,000 years ago, Nye pretends Macro-Evolution is winning when Adam and Eve have reduced Macro-Evolution to a farce. We Creationists were factually correct for 6,000 years of recorded history, and Bill Nye and company were vociferously wrong for many decades. Now that science has proven the Creationists to be correct and the Macro-Evolutionists to be wrong, Nye owes us an apology, not a made-for-TV smear.

Nye ought concede that his group’s rantings were storytelling masquerading as science. And he should further apologize for the evolutionary establishment’s junk science being used as a social bludgeon to dehumanize religious minorities. Will Nye defend the factually inaccurate evolutionary establishment’s having been bigoted, bombastic, prejudiced and condescending toward biblical Jews and Christians? I keep hoping we’ll draw Nye unto science.

But, I predict Nye will launch yet another shrieking and ill-informed tirade; when facts are not with you, pound the table. That stone table is the only way Nye can burnish his liberal street cred. He must be getting ready to run for office, and Creationists are the defenseless minority he feels safe in bashing; what courage!

Nye said of Creationists, “When you have a portion of the population that doesn’t believe in [Macro-Evolution], it holds everybody back, really.” He was referring to principled people who don’t wish to make a monkey of themselves. But I would point out that Nye is a Y-chromosomal Adam and Mitochondrial Eve denier. Because he is ideological, he can’t bear to see the truth staring at him in the face from peer-reviewed journals. I don’t wish to ape Nye, but when you have ignorant denialists like Bill out there, masquerading as scientists and spouting out dated theories from the Victorian era on TV, I would argue his chest pounding – due to an anti-evidence mentality – is really what’s holding us all back. Can you imagine this man teaching your children to deny Mitochondrial Eve in order to defend science?

Francis Crick, also a real scientist, stated in his book “Life Itself” that DNA had to have been designed by intelligent beings. According to B.S. Bill Nye, Francis Crick’s assertion of intelligent design in DNA shouldn’t be allowed in even private education. And because of anti-science attitudes like this, Nye encapsulated perfectly how secularist conceit is attacking objectivity in education. Nye rants and raves and throws insults at people because he is afraid of a free market for facts. In Nye’s world, some facts are more equal than others. People who humbly assert – with much evidence – that Man came via an intelligent Creation are waylaid victims of Nye’s irrational fears and prejudice.

The facts keep pouring in. Molecular geneticists discovered recently that three genetic mothers branched from Mitochondrial Eve and that all human beings today were derived from those lines. I’m terribly sorry to inform Mister Nye that this observation exactly agrees with the Torah account – that humanity was repopulated from the people present on Noah’s Ark. The science was done by credentialed people. Maybe presenter Nye will pronounce this paper anti-science for us, so we know?

You can almost hear Bill Nye’s thoughts. “How is this possible!? Why are such people allowed to observe the truth and state it in public!?”

But Bill, science is about fearlessly observing the truth, publishing it and following the truth wherever it leads. Science is following truth no matter whom it offends, or how heartily it violates your own obviously seething prejudices.

Richard Feynman, Nobel Prize winning Cal Tech physicist, refused all honorary doctorates. He likened them to “honorary electrician’s license[s].” I must agree with Feynman. I wouldn’t want my house wired by an “honorary” electrician.

And I don’t want my science done by bigoted Bill Nye, bachelor of bias guy, either.

Andrew Longman is a Christian and an applied scientist.