As it lays
Editor’s note: Do you need something to smile about? Every day, WND selects the best joke offered up by readers and contributors to its Laughlines forum and brings it to you as the WND Joke of the Day. Here is today’s offering:
A city slicker went duck hunting down south on a friend’s property, but the first duck he shot fell across the fence line onto the neighbor’s property. Looking around, he saw no one else near so he hopped the fence to retrieve the duck.
As he headed back for the fence, the very old neighbor races up in an old pickup truck and asked him what he was doing with “his” duck.
The city guy says, “I shot him but he fell over here on your property, so I was just retrieving it.”
“Well that makes it my duck,” the old man says. “But since you insist on that being yours, we’ll just settle this the old country way – we’ll fight for it.”
The younger, stronger, and bigger city fella figures he can easily take the frail older man, so he agrees.
“But we gotta fight by country rules,” the old man says.
“I get the first three hits,” he says, “and the first one to quit loses the duck. ok?” The younger man figures he can absorb three hits from the old guy first, so he agrees.
Before he can even set the duck or his shotgun down, the old man runs up and kicks the younger man in the groin with his heavy work boots. As he doubles over in excruciating pain, the old man kicks the guy in the side of the head, knocking out two teeth. Once the younger man falls to the ground, the old man kicks him in the ribs and the young man spits out blood and winces as he tried to breathe in.
Staggering to his feet, bloodied, breathless, and missing two teeth, the younger man smiles slowly as he plans his first hit on the old guy. “You’re in for it now, old man,” he rasps over the gaps in his teeth.
The old man slowly backs away and smiles as he says, “Nope, I quit – you can have the duck.”