And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer!
Ho ho ho! Here comes Surfin’ Safari Santa Claus …
This week’s column takes you to the North Pole, where Yuletide carols are being sung by a choir, and folks are all dressed up like Eskimos. In Santa’s carriage house and stable, the sleigh is ready for its magical journey. Its skids are waxed, and the leather reins are bedecked with gleaming silver bells. Let’s step inside and take a peek while the chestnuts roast by an open fire.
Inside the sleigh’s bright carriage embellished with gold leaf swirls is a shiny red patent leather seat upon which sits a huge velvet sack. Its golden drawstring hasn’t yet been pulled tight, thus revealing a bag chock full of goodies – and some lumps of coal, no doubt cleverly disguised in shiny wrap. The bounty is ready and waiting for the annual Christmas flight to the chimneys of good little boys and girls around the world.
The sack is bulging with packages of all shapes and sizes! Is that a crystal ball?
Here’s a little box wrapped in robin’s egg blue – let’s shake it. It sounds like 140 puzzle pieces! A little bird swoops down from the rafters, trilling, “It could be every tweet you’ve ever tapped out.”
Not everything Facebook gives is a gift – here’s a lump of coal the social networking giant dropped in Santa’s bag. It’s an odd rust-hue, its color called “censorship.” You can find it right beside red on the socialist color wheel.
Well, boys and girls, it looks like we’ve checked out everything in Santa’s bag of goodies, except for one more. It’s a special treat that Santa will take to millions of worldwide fans of Masterpiece Classic’s “Downton Abbey” series. You’ll need two hours to indulge in this gift! But Santa knows Yule make time for it!
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
And I heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!