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Republicans find religion on ... evolution

Posted By Ilana Mercer On 01/31/2013 @ 8:34 pm In Commentary,Opinion | No Comments

On the heels of Barack Obama’s Las Vegas run-on ramble on the necessity of immigration “reform,” this week, Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., announced that he too had “evolved” overnight on the issue. “I’m … open-minded enough to say that it is an issue that we do need to evolve on,” the senator vaporized.

Paul is a Johnny-come-lately to his party’s devolution on immigration. The country was still surveying the debris left by the “D-Bomb” (where “D” stands for demographics), dropped on Tuesday, Nov. 6, 2012 – when, one-by-one, key Republicans began to defect, pledging their commitment to an “overhaul of the immigration system”; to “reform”; to “a comprehensive solution”; to “fixing a broken system” – all well-recognized euphemisms for amnesty.

A tipping point in the demographic shift in the U.S. population had returned Barack Obama to power for a second term. A moratorium on mass immigration, buttressed by strong secessionist and states’ rights movements, might just help delay another such bomb from detonating . But the Republicans were having none of it.

House Speaker John Boehner was soon leading the party of turncoats to the promised (la-la) land, pledging that “a comprehensive approach” was “long overdue.” “I’m confident,” Boehner promised, “that the president, myself [and] others can find the common ground to take care of this issue once and for all.”

In short succession, our wily pitch men were joined by Republican media mouths who had also “evolved” overnight. Thus, in a career-clinching bid – presumably, to continue playing a part in national politics – Sean Hannity, an influential Fox News personality, declared that he too had found religion on immigration and now supported a “pathway to citizenship.”

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Another mantra mouthed by brother-believer Charles Krauthammer and echoed by Sen. Paul was that, “The GOP needs to do a better job of reaching out to Hispanic voters.” Yes, “Inside each Latin American immigrant there’s a Republican waiting to get out,” mocked Mark Krikorian of the Center for Immigration Studies.

Mockery for this pie-in-the-sky is warranted. However dispiriting, the reason 71 percent of Hispanic voters broke for Obama is not because Republicans are mean to them – John McCain and George Bush demonstrated that they would wrestle a crocodile for any Hispanic convert, legal, illegal and criminal. This identity group’s political preference is because 60 percent of them live in or near poverty and “fully 57 percent use at least one welfare program.”

In his irrational ramble, the president waxed about legalizing the “11 million undocumented immigrants [residing] in America,” while at the same time praising the contribution made by their kind to the founding of great “businesses like Google and Yahoo.”

Fantasies about the future founders of companies like Google and Yahoo, aside – their highly educated corporeal founders are from Russia (Sergey Brin) and Taiwan (Jerry Yang).

The 11-million strong voting bloc currently being converged upon by the zombies aforementioned originates not in Russia or Taiwan, as Obama would have you believe, but, for the most, in Latin American. By Wikipedia’s telling, “as a group,” they tend to be “less educated than other sections of the U.S. population: 49 percent haven’t completed high school, compared with 9 percent of native-born Americans and 25 percent of legal immigrants.”

No longer able to ignore the differing racial voting patterns that emerged in the 2012 election, USA Today diagnosed America as a “nation moving further apart.” Acknowledging that America was riven by race had compelled the newspaper to disgorge that their pet president had suffered some erosion in support – most significantly from “whites under 30.” “In 2008, they had backed Obama by 10 points. This time, they supported Romney by eight.”

Famous for its “Black, Brown and Plain Boring in America” programming, CNN broke down the November election results by age and race. As it turned out, white millennials were not complete morons. (Soledad O’Brien, the Agony Aunt who produced the racist propaganda series, would disagree with me.) Among whites aged 18-29 years, Mitt Romney led 51 percent to 44 percent, giving the Republican candidate an 11 percent edge.

“More white people voted for Mitt Romney this year than voted for Ronald Reagan in 1980. Barack Obama lost white voters by 20 points – the widest margin since 1984,” seconded Ann Coulter.

The sauce that cooked the goose of America’s historic majority – 62 percent of which supported Romney – was that this majority was outnumbered as a voting bloc. Ann again: “[I]n 1980, whites were 88 percent of the electorate. In 2012, they were 72 percent of the electorate. Not only that, but the non-white electorate is far more Democratic than it was in 1980.”

Republicans have responded as the drag queens of politics that they are (no offense to drag queens). Depending which way the political winds are blowing, establishment Republicans will modify their game plan.

A good gauge of Republican treachery is the manner in which they beat up on Mitt Romney whenever he uttered an impolitic truth. “In explaining his overwhelming electoral college defeat,” reported the New York Times, Romney alluded to Obama having followed “the ‘old playbook’ of seeking votes from specific interest groups, ‘especially the African-American community, the Hispanic community and young people.’”

No sooner had Romney so reasoned than Republican Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana, Newt Gingrich, New Mexico Gov. Susana Martinez (deemed another GOP rising star), MSNBC token conservative and “Morning Joe” co-host Joe Scarborough rose to spit venom at the man.

Leading the pack was Obama’s New BFF (Best Friend Forever), New Jersey Republican Gov. Chris Christie, whose very future as a member of the Northeast elite hinged on maligning Mitt Romney.

Why was Mitt Romney’s analysis of the role played by the give-me constituency in his electoral loss so factually wrong? This these reptilian brains (more apologies, this time to reptiles) could not quite explain. All the Republicans knew was that their cushy jobs depended on distancing themselves from truth and from any man who spoke it, however fleetingly.

The same Republican cobra-head that rose to spit at Romney whenever he broke from the pack is now leading the charge for amnesty and against America’s waning historical majority.

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