BRISBANE, Australia – A bipartisan group of senators lays plans to declare an amnesty on generous terms for 11 million illegal immigrants (or, in the neutered English of the politically correct, “differently documented visitors”).

Any amnesty will act as an open invitation to future illegal aliens to flit to the U.S. knowing that one day all will be forgiven and that in the meantime they can help themselves to a fortune in food stamps and other handouts.

The senators, in a futile attempt to appease the sensible majority who know this, say the amnesty will only take effect when the nation’s borders are declared secure.

They do not, of course, have the faintest idea how to protect and defend your thousands of miles of borders. The ugly and costly Berlin Wall approach, favored by the previous Republican administration, has scarcely been a resounding success. Besides, your Founding Fathers would have been horrified.

The eight senators have not even succeeding in establishing the criteria for defining the moment when your nation’s borders have become secure.

In short, their proposals to date are another fine demonstration that the classe politique has taken leave of its collective senses and ought to be locked up in an institution for the terminally insane. Oh, they already are. It’s called “Congress.”

The central fact about immigration policy is never stated, but it can be put in just three words.

Immigrants vote left.

The “Democrats,” therefore, may talk tough about immigration, but they never mean it. The narrow margin by which Mr. Soebarkah (or Soetoro, or Marshall Davies, or whatever the real name of this particular indifferently documented visitor may be) won the recent “election” would have been a GOP landslide had it not been for the millions upon millions of imported votes.

So here is a common-sense policy to sort out the immigration mess. Pass this column to your Republican senators and representatives in the congressional funny-farm. Perhaps, in one of their intermittent periods of lucidity, they may actually adopt it.

Step 1: Screw down the lid on the welfare honeypot. Make it plain to all potential immigrants wanting to stay in the country for more than three months that if they come to the U.S. they must declare in writing at the port of entry that they intend to stay. For a minimum of five years after that declaration, they will have no right to receive any welfare benefits or medicare or Medicaid or food stamps at the expense of U.S. taxpayers.

Step 2: Stamp down on welfare fraud. Reliable and non-intrusive biometric methods of identifying precisely who a claimant are now becoming foolproof. In the future, every time anyone wants to claim any payment (e.g. a presidential salary) from Uncle Sam, he must prove his identity.

Before the shrieking civil-liberties groups start clambering up the Freedom Fence, let me make it clear that, if you do not carry identification at present and if you do not want the State to hold a biometric record of you, you will not have to do so unless or until you want to get cash from the taxpayer.

It is not unreasonable that someone who wants (or needs) to live at the expense of the rest of us should at least do us the courtesy of proving to us who he is, so that we can confirm before handing over the cash that he is a citizen and that he is not a multiple claimant.

Step 3: An immigrant who has not signed a declaration at the port of entry will never have any right to claim any welfare benefit or payment of any kind from taxpayers. Ever. Period.

Step 4: Tell all 11 million illegal immigrants already in the U.S. to report to their nearest immigration office to sign a declaration. However, the period before they can claim any benefits will be 15 years. They cheated, so they must work for their living or get out and bum off someone else.

Step 5: Sit back and watch as the number of illegal economic migrants plummets. Count the billions in savings not only in welfare payments to immigrants but also in fraud prevention throughout the welfare system. Start paying off Black Jesus’ massive and deliberate national debt before China takes over.

Note how entirely non-discriminatory the policy is. It does not ask what color your skin is. It asks only that if you want to stay in the U.S. you will say so honestly at the outset and then be prepared to work for your living for at least five years before you can help yourself to other people’s money.

You know it makes sense – which, of course, is precisely why the inmates at Washington Zoo will not do anything about it. It is the solecism of legislators that they believe they can solve every problem by passing a law. But they cannot solve the immigration problem by passing a law as egregiously daft as that which the eight senators now seem to propose.

Think of it this way. If the Monckton Act had been the law over the past half century, Black Jesus would have had to sign a declaration at the port of entry. That declaration would have constituted proof that, as an Indonesian citizen, he was not eligible to stand for the presidency of the United States.

Imagine just how much more prosperous and less financially as well as morally bankrupt your nation would have been if that single illegal immigrant had either signed on or stayed away.

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