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Molly Line of the Fox News Channel

You probably won’t hear this news story mentioned on CNN.

Or MSNBC.

Or PBS.

Or ABC, CBS or NBC News.

But you just may hear it talked about on the Fox News Channel or the Fox Business Network.

Singer and songwriter Austin Cunningham

A country-music singer and songwriter who has penned songs for the likes of Hank Williams Jr., Martina McBride, Dolly Parton and Wynonna Judd has now produced a brand-new song and video that’s going viral, immortalizing the legendary beauty of the women on Fox.

Titled “The Girls On Fox News,” the song starts off with a true-to-life description of what happened to its writer and performer, Austin Cunningham:

Well I used to be a Democrat, Liberal no doubt
I didn’t think Conservatives knew what life’s about
Then I started leaving the Fox News channel on.
If that’s the face of the right, I’ll tell the left so long.

Watch and listen to the song by clicking on the video below:

The song is upbeat and replete with jokes, including a catchy chorus proclaiming:

Oh, I want a girl like the girls on Fox News
Everyone is beautiful, anyone you choose
Whoever does the hiring knows how to light my fuse
I want a girl like the girls on Fox News.

The song is not on an any album yet, but can be purchased on iTunes, and the YouTube video of the song has skyrocketed to more than 700,000 hits in that past two weeks.

“I’ve only performed it live at a few shows so far, but people go nuts for this song and my e-mail from my website is piling up!” Cunningham told WND.

A native of Garland, Texas, Cunningham now splits his time between McKinney, Texas, and Nashville, Tenn., where he composes for other artists.

As far as how it all began, Cunningham says, “The idea for the song came from a phone conversation I was havin’ with a buddy and I said something like, ‘Have you noticed how good-looking the gals are on Fox News?’

Monica Crowley of Fox News

“When he resoundingly agreed, I just started singing the melody in my head to the first line of the chorus, “I want a girl like the girls on Fox News.’ Making my living as a songwriter, EVERYTHING worth anything sounds like a song to me.”

He says he originally wrote the song some four years ago, and would occasionally tweak it, but never thought about releasing it.

“I looked at it last fall and it still seemed funny and relevant, so I did my research and updated some of the gals names. I played it for a few people and they started begging me to record and release it,” he said.

Cunningham indicated while the song is playful, “even a funny song like this, should start somewhere and take the listener on a three-to-four minute trip. So going from liberal to conservative because of the girls’ beauty didn’t seem like too big a stretch. Sure there may be better reasons to lean conservative, but like Brad Paisley said, ‘I’m Still A Guy.’”

Shannon Bream of Fox News

“Truth is, I’ve always been a cowboy with a hippie heart, meaning I love everyone and respect their right to live the way they want to. But also, I’ve always had old-school values. Over these last four to five years, I feel like I’m being ‘pushed’ more conservative because the other side has pushed so hard against my traditional values and my faith. I’d also like to add that I think Fox News is not as conservative as their critics might have you believe. They just seem to be reporting more of the news the majority of America really wants to hear, period. They seem to resonate more with me than the other guys.”

Cunningham now confesses he’s a “Fox News Junkie,” and “with the risk of your readers’ disbelief, I like the guys on there, too. I relate to them. How can you not like Steve Doocy or Brian Kilmeade? I mean these guys and girls come off as kind, decent, hard-working and caring professionals that I can give my time to. I’m a Fox Business guy now, too, and love [Don] Imus. He kinda hates everything, but he has great taste in music!”

Some of the men of Fox are mentioned in the song:

Now to Doocy, Kilmeade, and Bolling, Bret, Shep and Sean
And all them other hairy-legged Geraldos you put on
I ask you all one question, who would you rather watch
Cavuto or Courtney Friel interview Ed Koch.

Courtney Friel of Fox News

When WND asked Cunningham if he thought one particular woman at Fox was the most beautiful, he responded, “Is this a trick question?”

“If I absolutely HAD to choose one Fox anchor/contributor,” he explained, “I suppose it would have to be Megyn Kelly. She is like the new ‘America’s Sweetheart.’ She, and seriously all these gals, seem to be what our elders used to describe as ‘lovely.’ Meaning looks certainly, but also with qualities like elegance, grace, intelligence, wit and kindness.”

Megyn Kelly of Fox News

The ladies who appear on Fox News are not just beautiful, they’re packing serious brains.

For instance, Monica Crowley has two master’s degrees and a doctorate from Columbia University, and served as a foreign-policy assistant to President Richard Nixon before joining NPR’s “Morning Edition.”

Shannon Bream earned a juris doctorate with honors from Florida State University and practiced corporate law in Tampa, Fla.

Cunningham shied away from talking about the women on other broadcast networks, but he did mention “Robin Meade [of CNN] does get a nod.”

A lyric in the song is dedicated to Meade, saying:

‘Cause honey sure beats vinegar to wash down the news we need
No one else comes close, well except for maybe Robin Meade.

Robin Meade of CNN

“I never once thought about comparing to other network girls even though some folks said I should,” Cunningham said. “I prefer to let the girls’ beauty speak for themselves and it seems like America agrees. And as a Christian, I believe no one need be torn down to build another up.”

When asked if he thought most people choose to watch a certain channel or network based on the appearance of the on-air talent, he said, “Look, it’s an ‘American Idol’ world whether we like it or not. I’m in the music business where they want the girls younger and hotter; and it’s the same with guys really. A pretty package never hurts, I just wish that in movies, music or TV news or sitcoms, they wouldn’t take it so far. Just like in the song, I obviously noticed the gals and I respond to it as well, but there’s a way to have some class and dignity with the nice, pretty package you offer people. I think Fox does a great job of that.”

“After knowing I wrote this song, this may be hard to believe,” he continued, “but when I’m taking in news or even commentary, it is not about looks whatsoever. I know myself, and if I’m hearing a story and I don’t feel manipulated by the presentation, I’m in. I feel way less manipulated by Fox. And to stay on point, if Martha MacCallum, Gretchen Carlson, Dana Perino or Kimberly Guilfoyle are presenting that news, well, I rest my case!”

Martha MacCallum of Fox News

Cunningham doesn’t mention every female face on Fox in the song, but he does make a noble effort at one point, dense-packing some 20 people into just a few verses:

There’s Gretchen, Megyn and Martha, Harris and Patti Ann
Janice, Jen and Julie, Maria, Anna and Alison
Dana, Ainsley, Andrea, Uma, Shannon, Molly and Heather

Hey, is there even a Heather?
Yeah.
There’s two?
Yeah, two

There’s Mollys too?
Yeah.
Perfect.

Another verse pleads with listeners not to think poorly of Cunningham:

Now please don’t call me shallow, a pervert, or insane.
Because who the heck does not love beauty with brains?

Cunningham is married and has a daughter in real life, and the last part of his song is a reminder to his wife that she’s the only true love for him:

No, honey, I love you!
I mean if I wasn’t married to you, I’d love them
I mean they’re awesome
But you’re the most awesomest, really!

When asked what his wife thought of the song, Cunningham indicated, “She actually likes it a lot and is having fun with it, too. I never worried that she wouldn’t, but I completely understand the question. Some of my songwriting buddies asked me the same question. I actually believe people, including me and my wife, watch or listen with our hearts as much as with our eyes and ears. Meaning the spirit of the song is light, complimentary and with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek!”

Kimberly Guilfoyle of Fox News

The person responsible for hiring many of the beauties at Fox is longtime news chief Roger Ailes.

In a 2011 interview with the Associated Press, he admitted, “I hired Sarah Palin because she was hot and got ratings.”

Last October, WND reported on a UCLA study that found Republican women in Congress are more feminine than their Democrat counterparts.

“Female politicians with stereotypically feminine facial features are more likely to be Republican than Democrat, and the correlation increases the more conservative the lawmaker’s voting record,” said lead author Colleen M. Carpinella, a UCLA graduate student in psychology.

According to a report on the UCLA website, “The researchers also found the opposite to be true: Female politicians with less stereotypically feminine facial features were more likely to be Democrats, and the more liberal their voting record, the greater the distance the politician’s appearance strayed from stereotypical gender norms.”

People who have viewed “The Girls on Fox News” song have been leaving some interesting comments.

Among them is one by Robert S. Moulds,who noted, “Hillary Clinton needs the fashion advice from those Fox women. Maybe then she would not be such a frump. Those Fox women wear some really colorful dresses, shoes and apply just the right make up. I mean, who wouldn’t want to look as lovely or be around them? Despite this, they are still less prissy than that ugly effete rude creature Piers Morgan who, like Hillary, could use their fashion advice. They even make me wish I was straight.”

The complete lyrics for “The Girls On Fox News” by Austin Cunningham are presented here:

Well I used to be a Democrat, Liberal no doubt
I didn’t think Conservatives knew what life’s about
Then I started leaving the Fox News channel on.
If that’s the face of the right, I’ll tell the left so long.

Oh, I want a girl like the girls on Fox News
Everyone is beautiful, anyone you choose
Whoever does the hiring knows how to light my fuse
I want a girl like the girls on Fox News.

There’s Gretchen, Meagan and Martha, Harris and Patti Ann
Janice, Jen and Julie, Maria, Anna and Alison
Dana, Ainsley, Andrea, Uma, Shannon, Molly and Heather

Hey, is there even a Heather?
Yeah.
There’s two?
Yeah two

There’s Mollys too?
Yeah.
Perfect.

Well they make the bad news on TV look a whole lot better!

Now please don’t call me shallow, a pervert, or insane.
Because who the heck does not love beauty with brains.
I bet you that Bill Clinton, when Hillary walks in
Quickly switches back from Fox to MSBNN!

Bet Bill wants a girl like the girls on Fox News
Everyone is beautiful, anyone you choose!
Whoever does the hiring, knows how to light my fuse
I want a girl like the girls on Fox News!

Now to Doocy, Kilmeade, and Bolling, Bret, Shep and Sean
And all them other hairy-legged Geraldos you put on
I ask you all one question, who would you rather watch
Cavuto or Courtney Friel interview Ed Koch.

‘Cause honey sure beats vinegar to wash down the news we need
No one else comes close, well except for maybe Robin Meade.
They got your blondes and brunettes, even redheads, too
Which proves that they’re the only ones with fair and balanced news!

Oh I want a girl, like the girls on Fox News
I’d settle for an hour there in Billy Hemmer’s shoes
Can’t help if other network girls’ egos get bruised
I want a girl like the girls on Fox News.

More Cowbell!

And I like Michelle Malkin, she never makes my reds stay blue
And if my wife would let me, hey I’d marry Michelle, too.
Save some love for Greta, she’s the smartest y’all
Bet when she’s off the record, she’s the wildest of them all!

Now I’m a Fox News junkie, I watch it all I can
My Liberal days are over, hope Bob Beckel understands.
And I believe in everything O’Reilly has to say
Especially when he has Kimberly Guilfoyle on that day.

Oh I want a girl like the girls on Fox News!
Everyone is beautiful, anyone you choose.
Whoever does the hiring knows how to light my fuse
I want a girl like the girls on Fox News.
Hey, I want a girl like the girls on Fox News!

No, honey, I love you!
I mean if I wasn’t married to you, I’d love them
I mean they’re awesome
But you’re the most awesomest, really!
I swear, honey.

Do the looks of newspeople have any impact on the channel you watch?

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