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Back in the 1980s, a fictional pitchman named Joe Isuzu made a series of TV commercials promoting Isuzu cars and trucks. A fast-talking, smarmy-looking guy would make outrageous claims along the lines of “It has more seats than the Astrodome” and “It goes faster than a speeding bullet,” and everyone knew it was a takeoff on every overly zealous, ethically challenged salesman who had ever tried to sell you a lemon.

Today, it seems to me that we have his cousin living in the White House. I mean, is there anything our commander in chief says or does that doesn’t remind you of the cheapest sort of huckster? Instead of being the leader of the greatest nation on earth, this guy was born to work a carnival midway. He would clearly be right at home trying to con you into trying to knock iron ten-pins off a pedestal or blow several dollars trying to win a 10-cent Kewpie doll by shooting at mechanical ducks.

You only have to look at the scare tactics Obama has employed in his attempt to use sequestration as an excuse to once again hike taxes to understand what a truly mendacious creep he is. Still, even I, who am always seeking the silver lining, have to acknowledge that Obama has surrounded himself with so many ignoramuses that rarely a day goes by that his stooges don’t provide me with a few good laughs. For instance, while standing in front of the other female members of the Congressional Black Caucus, a group that could have as its theme song “It Pays to Be Ignorant,” Maxine Waters warned that ” the sequester could cost the nation 170 million jobs.” That’s roughly 50 million more people than presently have jobs.

It reminds me that in 2009, Obama, allegedly the smartest person in the universe not named Hillary Clinton, promised that the Affordable Care Act would save employers 400 percent on their insurance costs. Most people, that is most conservative people, understand that you can’t save more than 100 percent in the cost of anything even if you give it away for free.

From the first time Obama announced that his would be the most transparent administration in history to the last time he told us the world would come to an end if he had to cut 2 percent out of the most bloated budget we’ve ever seen, he has lied about everything from skeet shooting to the importance of preschool.

Speaking of schools, a recent poll disclosed that 52 percent of Chicago’s high school students have engaged in sexual intercourse. So it’s no wonder that those students are setting records when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases and illegitimate births. Speaking as an old geezer, it strikes me that something is definitely lacking in those sex-education classes liberals have spent the past few decades promoting. Inasmuch as the kids are also failing to master English, math and science, I have begun to believe that they come out of these classes wondering what the heck all those bananas have to do with them.

Lest anyone think that all the idiots are in Illinois, in Massachusetts they’re promoting the idea that kids as young as 5 or 6 should get to determine their gender of choice and use whatever bathroom they deem appropriate. What’s more, parents would not be informed.

It makes you marvel at how adaptable these morons are. It was less than 20 years ago that liberals were rallying around Hillary Clinton’s contention that it took a village to raise a child. As nutty as that was, at least it acknowledged that parents were members of the village. Now, whether it’s gender identification or abortion, liberals are promoting the idea that when it comes to children, parents aren’t even entitled to basic information.

One can only assume that the next step is leaving parents out of the loop when their teenage offspring start having children of their own.

As a conservative, I realize only too well how easy it is to sink into terminal depression. After all, if in spite of the longest-lasting economic morass since the 1930s, and in spite of a trillion-dollar Stimulus and the abominable Obamacare, Obama could be re-elected, anything is possible. Still, it is worth noting that in all the years since 1952, the two parties have taken turns swapping the presidency every four or eight years. The only exception was 1980-1992, when Reagan and Bush broke the cycle. That doesn’t guarantee that the Republicans will take back the Oval Office in 2016, but as a conservative, you have to grasp at straws, no matter how flimsy they might be.

While I much prefer insulting Democrats, there are times when there’s no getting around the fact that Republicans, even those of us with very little hair on our heads, can’t help tearing out what few strands we have left. I refer to the vote that confirmed the vile Chuck Hagel to be secretary of defense. Inasmuch as the Democrats denied George H.W. Bush the right in 1989 to appoint John Tower to be his secretary of defense, how is it that Republicans Thad Cochran, Richard Shelby, Mike Johanns and Rand Paul all decided that Obama had the inalienable right to put the nation’s security in the hands of an imbecile who has stated that the Jewish lobby controls the U.S. Senate and that Iran is a sovereign nation with duly elected leaders?

Just for the record, Rand Paul is no longer on my short list of potential 2016 presidential candidates. He now shares 278th place with Chris Christie.

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