If you’ve been paying attention to the left’s side of the discussion on the marriage debate, it’s obvious this issue brings out a whole new stupid in some people.

That’s probably because there are no good reasons for redefining marriage. Not even good emotional reasons. I can come up with good emotional reasons for a welfare state. Granted, I don’t agree with them, but I can come up with them. But the argument for redefining marriage basically comes down to “because I wanna.” So when the basis of your argument emulates a child throwing a tantrum at Wal-Mart, you tend to come off as childish.

Last week I witnessed a lot of childish clichés from the left that are so easily debunked, they’re actually a better argument for shutting down America’s government school system before it finishes off whatever is left of critical thinking in this country.

Cliché No. 1 – Where does the government get off telling two consenting adults they can’t love one another?

Actually, the government tells consenting adults they can’t love each other all the time – like when they’re brother and sister. Still, the last I checked no one is currently sitting in jail for being in a consensual homosexual relationship. If you’re currently in a consensual homosexual relationship, have you personally witnessed any black helicopters peering into your bedroom? If so, your supplier got you a bad stash.

Cliché No. 2 – This is my right!

In our system of government there are two kinds of rights – inalienable and contractual. Inalienable rights come from the “Laws of Nature and Nature’s God.” They require no consent, because they are inherent to you being created in the image of God. Because you exist you have these rights. For example, you don’t need someone’s consent to breathe because you have a natural right to life. You don’t have a natural right to have sex with whomever you want, because the sex act requires consent from another party. We typically call people who think they have a right to have sex with whomever they want rapists or sexual predators, and put them in prison. Should another consenting adult decide he/she would like to engage in homosexual practices with you, then you have his/her consent. And as I pointed out before, no one is in jail for having consensual homosexual contact with another adult. Therefore, your rights aren’t being violated. That falsely assumes, of course, you have a “right” at any point to do that which your Creator says is wrong, but that is a topic for another column.

Cliché No. 3 – You’re on the wrong side of history.

So let me get this straight, those clamoring for Western civilization to return to the pagan culture of child sacrifice (abortion), nature worship (radical environmentalism) and sexual deviancy (redefining marriage) that was set aside in favor of the Judeo-Christian moral ethic a millennia ago are on the right side of history? You’re not a progressive, but a regressive, urging us to return to the failed barbarism rejected centuries ago by those who made the freedom and liberty you currently enjoy possible. Besides, I thought you postmodernists rejected history because it’s written by the winners anyway.

Cliché No. 4 – Who gave government the authority to determine whether my relationship is valid or not?

I’ll make you a deal – you be intellectually consistent by calling for the legalization of polygamy and polyamory, and then I’ll actually entertain this argument on limited-government grounds. Until then, you’re just as guilty of “discrimination” as those dastardly conservatives still bitterly clinging to their guns and their religion.

Cliché No. 5 – The demographics are against you.

What kind of culture decides to reject the wisdom of its grandparents married for 50 years in order to listen to those whose biggest worries are whether Mountain Dew Code Red is still in stock or “Modern Family” is a repeat this week? Answer: a dumb and arrogant one. I am 39 years old. There were lots of things I believed when I was 21 or 25 I don’t believe anymore now that I have children, a job and attend church. I no longer believe flunking out of college to play Super Tecmo Bowl is cool, or that Busch Light actually tastes good, or that I want to be the next Ron Jeremy. Here’s a great idea. Let’s reject the moral standard of those that actually made America, and replace it with the one from all the people destroying it with $16.3 trillion in debt. Genius! Wicked awesome, dude.

Cliché No. 6 – Homosexuality is in nature so it’s natural.

There’s also the licking of one’s own genitals, the flinging of one’s own feces, and the eating of live prey and then vomiting it back up to feed your offspring in nature, too. You’ll excuse me if I think we ought to shoot for a slightly higher standard.

Cliché No. 7 – The government isn’t going to interfere with your church if we redefine marriage.

You mean like the government hasn’t been interfering with our churches for decades via IRS regulations? Pardon me if your assurances don’t exactly give me a warm fuzzy.

When these easily debunked clichés amount to the basis for redefining all of Western civilization, it’s not losing this debate that will finish us off. The fact we’re having it in the first place is a sign we may already be finished.

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