Until I read Amity Shlaes’ tribute to Calvin Coolidge, I had assumed that Ronald Reagan was the last true fiscal conservative we’ve had in the White House. Well, it seems I only missed by 60 years. I was aware that Reagan had lowered the marginal tax rate from 70 to 28 percent, but I hadn’t been aware that federal spending increased by 40 percent during his eight years in office. In other words, both parties want to increase the number of dollars flowing into Washington. Where they differ is in which way they believe the larger amount will accrue, be it from raising or lowering tax rates. Alas, neither side regards reduced spending as a virtue.

I believe this country is in deep doo-doo. But I believe that Obama is the result of the national malaise and not entirely the cause, as some would insist. After all, with reporters working as enablers of all things left-wing, with professors indoctrinating students with communist swill and with the majority of Americans casting votes for any swine who promises them freebies, I am not convinced that things would be a lot better with someone else in the Oval Office.

I can’t bring myself to say that Mitt Romney wouldn’t have made any difference, although probably not as much as he or I would like. But I believe we can assume that he would not have lied about the Benghazi massacre, would not have threatened the survivors to keep their yaps shut and would have made a sincere effort to capture or kill those responsible for murdering Ambassador Stevens and his three colleagues by this late date. I also can’t picture Romney using lies about the Sequester to punish Americans with canceled White House tours and furloughed air traffic controllers.

But I’m only guessing because 51 percent of the voters let us know that four years of record unemployment, a nuclear Iran, a berserk North Korea, soaring inflation and diminished American influence around the world don’t really matter when it comes to choosing between an honorable man who has succeeded in every aspect of his life and one who has surrounded himself with lowlifes and succeeded at nothing except winning a few elections. But he has a winning smile, which in a sane universe would land him a toothpaste commercial, not the presidency.

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Obama spoke about dire consequences if Assad used chemical weapons, and when the weapons were used, he began threatening to take the matter to the U.N. Apparently, it doesn’t matter even a little bit to Obama if his idle threats mean that America loses its credibility not only with our enemies, but our allies. At least he didn’t tell Assad to just wait until his father comes home.

It’s probably just a rumor, but I heard that Obama is waiting for O.J. Simpson to be released from jail, so they can join forces to track down the people responsible for the Benghazi massacre and the murders of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman.

Someone sent me a photo of Obama and Kim Jong-un. The caption read: “He eats the finest foods, drinks the finest wines and lives like royalty while his people suffer from his oppressive policies. The other guy is the communist dictator of North Korea.”

Getting back to the survivors of the Benghazi massacre, I hear that there are three men who are anxious to tell what they know to Congress, but they first want to be granted immunity, lest they be fired for engaging in whistleblowing. Now if I’ve got that right, these employees of the State Department and the CIA are, at least theoretically, willing to sacrifice their lives for America, but not their jobs? Is this what is now passing for patriotism?

It’s not just our presidents who keep telling us that we shouldn’t tar all Muslims with the same brush. I also keep hearing commentators remind us that it’s only radicalized jihadists who want us dead. I beg to differ. These days, as I see it, a radical Muslim, if by radical we mean the exception to the rule, is one who doesn’t crave Shariah law, one of a tiny minority whose heart didn’t swell on 9/11 and who didn’t feel a surge of tribal pride when they got word that two of their guys spilled all that blood in Boston.

Finally, when I heard that Jason Collins, the backup center on the Washington Wizards, came out of the closet and immediately received a phone call from Obama, I assumed it was to invite him to the White House for a little one-on-one. And maybe even some basketball.

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