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Editor’s note: Michael Ackley’s columns may include satire and parody based on current events, and thus mix fact with fiction. He assumes informed readers will be able to tell the difference.

We’re sure it will be most comforting to President Obama that Robert Redford is trying to help rehabilitate the image of Obama friends Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn.

The old Weather Underground bombers remain the smug, self-righteous twits they were back in the ’60s and ’70s, when they were blowing up dozens of targets, including the Pentagon, banks and corporate offices, police stations, legislators’ offices and other symbols of the establishment.

Now comes Redford, starring in and directing “The Company You Keep.” I doubt the movie will make it to the lone motion picture theater in our mountain retreat. However, if reviews are to be believed, it portrays aging Weather Undergrounders as the same kind of smug, self-righteous twits they were back in the ’60s and ’70s – just like Ayers and Dohrn.

You remember this pair. They live in Obama’s Chicago neighborhood, and he hardly knew them, except when they launched his first electoral campaign from their home.

Anyway, the new film suggests opportunities for a number of sequels:

“The Company You Reap.” Robert Redford plays an elderly Jeffrey Skilling in a film showing that the disgraced Enron executive’s stock manipulations were done with the best of intentions.

“The Company, You Creep.” Robert Redford plays the grandfatherly Kim Jong-il, laboring manfully right up to his death to save the people of North Korea from the materialistic fate of his neighbors to the South.

“The Company You Weep.” Robert Redford rejoins “Company You Keep” costar Susan Sarandon in this tear-jerker examination of the Robin Hood-and-Marian-like career of bank robbers Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker.

It even is rumored that Sarandon’s agent is shopping the script of “The Company You Reich” around Hollywood. It’s the story of how the love of Eva Braun and Adolf Hitler for the Aryan race went a little over the top.


Jury of peers: Why are so many people upset that California’s state Assembly had passed a bill that would allow noncitizens to serve on juries?

A defendant is supposed to be tried by a jury of his peers. It seems to me the bill in question, by Assemblyman Bob Wieckowski, D-Fremont, merely recognizes the fact that so many of California’s criminals are noncitizens … illegal aliens, even.

In fact, Assembly John Perez, D-Los Angeles, said so explicitly. He declared, “This isn’t about affording someone who would come in as a juror something, but rather understanding that the importance of the jury selection process of affording justice to the person in that courtroom.”

OK. That quote from the Associated Press sounds like English-as-a-second-language, but you get the point.

However, if the Legislature is going to “expand the jury pool” by forcing the responsibilities of citizenship on alien residents, shouldn’t we expect it also to extend them the privileges of citizenship? Like voting?

Oh, wait. A lot of noncitizens already do that.


On top of things: President Obama told the assembled media this week, “I’m not familiar with this notion that anybody’s been blocked from testifying” about the Benghazi debacle.

Well, OK. Stuff from Fox News – the only agency that thinks the country should know the truth about this scandal – probably doesn’t make it into the chief executive’s daily news summary. And it’s unlikely that the folks at the CIA and State Department are going to bother him with such trivia.

As former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton so aptly put it, “What difference does it make?!!!”

Filibusterer in Chief: Say what you will about our president, he’s a stem-winding talker. In last week’s entire news conference he took only about a dozen questions. He limited the number by chattering on at length, with his most prolix response totaling more than 1,300 words. A couple more approached and exceeded the 1,000-word mark.

It’s a good way to limit reporter access. The longer you talk, the less likely you’ll have to answer a really difficult query – not that the White House press corps is likely to make one.

 

 

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