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Chuck him out, Barry. Hagel (in case you don’t know who he is, he’s described as a “defense secretary”) flubbed the death-benefits-for-heroes’-families issue. As flubbery goes, Chuck’s flubbery was in a league of its own.

Chuck went along with Barry in trying to pretend that the GOP’s decision to defund Soetero”care”TM was really a decision to defund the $100,000 benefit to families of heroes killed in action in Afghanistan.

No, it wasn’t. The GOP had done nothing to defund the heroes’ families, or the national parks, or any of the other eye-catching bits of gummint the White House artfully and unnecessarily decided to shut down. The GOP, as was their constitutional right, had decided to defund only the Unaffordable Care Act, while continuing to fund everything else.

But Obama wanted to fund the Act whose crippling costs will complete his bankrupting of America, and he wanted to hurt the GOP – so he and the unspeakable Hagel decided to defund the families’ benefits instead, until even these shameless “Democrats” were shamed into agreeing to a bill from Congress to re-fund the benefits they had defunded.

Hagel rhymes with “bagel.” Otherwise, he has no uses at all. Time to defund him and send him on eternal furlough.

A secretary of defense who does not defend the right of every family of every hero who has died for his country and for freedom to receive the compensation to which the law entitles them is a secretary of defense who fundamentally misunderstands the contract between Uncle Sam and those who have gallantly chosen to make a career out of risking their lives in the service of their country and of freedom.

Here, Chuck, baby, is how the deal works. While your wobbly bottom polishes an overstuffed executive chair in intra-Beltway comfort, luxury and ease, and svelte secretaries sashay in and out of your air-conditioned office the size of a tennis court with your hourly Starbucks, the armed forces of the United States are out there in the desert sand, putting their lives on the line for you, every minute of every day of every year of their careers.

What that means, Chuck, old fruit, is that as secretary of defense you never, ever allow the communist amateur in the White House or anyone else playing politics when he should be governing the country to demoralize the heroes of your nation by making them worry about who will provide for their families if the risk they take at every moment becomes a sad reality and they die for their country.

The correct stance for a defense secretary, Chuck, me boy, is not just to assume that every serviceman is a hero but to act on that assumption, and be seen to act on that assumption.

Let me tell you a story, Chuck, you waste of space. A friend of mine in the SAS was sent out with his men to the Falklands to carry out a vital mission during the Argentinian invasion. He told me that as the helicopters that had dropped him into enemy territory whickered off into the night, he and all his men knew they could absolutely and unquestioningly and unquestionably rely on Margaret Thatcher never, never, never to let them down.

As soon as Margaret became prime minister, she made it quite clear that she valued and supported Britain’s armed forces, and would always do so. No one who served during her distinguished premiership ever had reason to doubt her resolve.

She was not known as the Magatollah for nothing.

And the armed forces loved her. They would, and did, go anywhere for her. They went out to the Falklands to fight an unwinnable war, and they won it. While the left in Parliament sneered and sniveled and equivocated and did their level best to undermine our troops, the Thatcher administration stood firm and resolute and took great trouble to convey that resolution to the forces in the field.

If Sandy Woodward and his boys needed backup, they got it. If the families of the 250 heroes who died recapturing the Falklands and at the same time liberating Argentina from dictatorship needed help and support, they got it. No questions asked.

That, Chuck, you apology for an apology, is not just the right approach: It is the only approach a government should take toward its armed forces.

When Barry or one of his ghastly minders suggested to you that it would help to advance socialism in America if you were willing to cut off the death benefits to the weeping widows of your nation’s heroes, you should have told him, bluntly, that if he tried that or anything like it he would have to hire someone else’s kinetic keester to polish that overstuffed chair in your tennis court.

When Soetero actually cut off the funding for heroes families, you should have gone straight on television and resigned. No ifs. No buts. No maybes. You should have gone.

Now, just for once, and perhaps for the first time, think of how those who are sworn to follow the joke “commander in chief” and his laughable defense secretary will see the situation. They now know – beyond any doubt – that you will not be there for them when they need you. You have proved that to them.

So you must go. As Shakespeare put it, “Stand not upon the order of your going, but go at once.”

But if – as seems likely – you are too dim to realize you must go, Barry must push you out. My memo to him on the subject is the shortest I have written. It has just ten letters, three syllables and two words:

“Chuck Hagel.”

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