More of America seems to be catching on to the fact that – while we have two political parties – they aren’t in fact the ones that are labeled Republican and Democrat.

Perhaps these two unlabeled parties should be given names. Let’s call them the Potomics and the Outcasts. You know, those inside and outside the moat that surrounds the castles of government in Washington, D.C.

I confess to having been snookered by this game myself on too many occasions. When election time rolls around, the game works like the good-cop, bad-cop routine in crime novels. The two cops drag the suspect into the interrogation room, and the bad cop wants to beat the confession out of the guy.

The good cop is more sympathetic and holds the bad cop at bay. Given the suspect’s circumstances, his actions were entirely understandable, even if they were wrong. But certainly a court would consider leniency in return for a confession. To the suspect, watching the bad cop ranting and raving in the background, this seems like a plan.

And so, most of America has continued to vote Republican or Democrat, because it seemed like a plan. We simply did not recognize that they were both on the same team.

What team is that? Why, it’s the home team. Team Potomac in Washington, D.C. That’s where all the politicians and bureaucrats live. That’s where all the federal employees live. That’s where all the money is spent. And that’s where the big rake-off occurs. And no, I’m not talking about bushels of leaves raked up underneath the fall tree colors.

You see, the only real battles between Republicans and Democrats are for who is going to be in charge of spending the money they squeeze out of the rest of the country. You’re in charge when your party wins. You get to decide how the money is spent. And with that power you get your rakeoff.

Since bribes are illegal, you get paid through campaign contributions from grateful corporations, contractors and academics who just love those federal dollars, once they are freed from the pockets of their owners by the IRS.

The national press, of course, is in on the game. Follow the money: Every two years there is a national election, lots of campaign money gets tossed into media hoppers, reporters and editors scurry around writing about the “issues,” reader and viewer-ship goes up, and on Election Day out comes the new Demopublican winner! Hooray! We’re saved! Rinse and repeat in two more years.

But of course, nothing changes. Because “moderate” is the codeword for keeping the Potomac gravy train running on schedule. The federal budget grows a little or a lot bit bigger, more federal employees are hired, bureaucracies expand, new ones are created and amidst all this there is endless talk about fiscal reform. Thank heavens talk is cheap, or we’d have to pay for that as well. Oh, I guess we do: We pay the politicians, too.

As evidence for this view, consider exhibit one: The House of Representatives, despite the deep divisions between Republicans and Democrats, was able to vote unanimously to continue paying federal employees sent home for the shutdown. They didn’t vote to allow them to use their 30 days of paid vacation time; they voted to make the shutdown another paid vacation for them.

So you see, even nonessential employees are essential to Washington, D.C.

The other political party is the people who don’t live in Washington, D.C. We’re the Outcasts; the people who fight the wars, bury our soldiers, pay the bills and sacrifice our constitutional liberties so the Potomac Party in D.C. can spy on us through our emails, calls and faxes, to make sure we’re not getting up to any mischief. You know, like prying their worthless, moderate-slimy hands from the levers of spending power.

Remember: The libertarians, the constitutionalists and the tea party are terrorists (at least to the Potomac Party in D.C.). NSA has to spy on them, the IRS has to audit their candidates and contributors, big media have to tell lies about them, and if elected – egads! They will destroy our country!

“Our country” being Washington, D.C.

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