By Brian C. Joondeph

The House GOP released its “standards” for immigration reform Thursday, once again promising enforcement of laws and rules by a president who has not shown any previous desire to enforce existing immigration law. What if, instead, Speaker Boehner gave the following speech?

My fellow Americans, the majority of you believe that our current immigration system is broken and in need of major change. Now 92 million of you are not part of the American workforce. With the best interests of America in mind, particularly those who are not working, House Republicans propose the following changes to our immigration laws.

Going forward, the U.S. will only welcome foreigners who will be useful to American society, contributing to national progress. They must have the necessary funds to support themselves and their dependents. Foreigners will be barred from the U.S. if they are detrimental to our economic or national interests.

If they are not good citizens or have broken laws in their home country, they will be denied entry into the U.S. Furthermore, they must be physically and mentally healthy before entering the U.S.

A national registry will keep track of the entire U.S. population, with foreign tourists and immigrants assigned a unique tracking number. Foreigners with false immigration documents will be fined or imprisoned, as will any foreigner falsifying their signature on a government document.

Any foreigner who is deported and who re-enters the U.S. without authorization may be imprisoned for up to 10 years. Foreigners working in the U.S. without a proper work permit can also be imprisoned. Transportation companies bringing undocumented foreigners into the U.S. will be fined.

Non-U.S. citizens will be prohibited from participating in American political life, including protests and demonstrations and any public expression of political opinion. Foreigners may not own American land within 60 miles of a national land border or within 30 miles of the coastal border. To serve in the military, one must be American by birth. This also holds for captains, pilots, engineers and mechanics.

Following this speech, Speaker Boehner and the Republican House will predictably be criticized by the media and the left as being racist or xenophobic. Boehner can answer simply that he reaffirms President Obama’s remarks about “a strong relationship between the United States and Mexico” and how “Mexico is sharing expertise with neighbors across the Americas.”

Such sharing of Mexico’s own immigration law and constitution is the basis for his proposal and, in a spirit of unity and cooperation, the U.S. will institute the same immigration laws Mexico has thoughtfully implemented it its own country, here in the U.S.


Brian C. Joondeph, MD, MPS, a Denver-based retina surgeon, is an advocate of smaller, more efficient government.

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