Recently, Salon.com assistant editor Katie Mcdonough went on a screed about the horrors of the “purity culture” advocated by all those evil awful people on the “right” who value women for their minds rather than their lady parts. In the largely incoherent rant, she sneered at chastity and concluded that anyone who values such qualities must therefore be subservient to men and destructively antiquated.
I, along with millions of other conservative women, got a good chuckle out of this. Purity, bad? Oh please.
I find it interesting how the thought of premarital chastity is revolting and unrealistic to so many feminists. I’ve often wondered whether proponents of unbridled sexual freedom for women actually have daughters. I have two, both teens, and our oldest (18) is getting ready to launch herself into the big wide world. A world away from the protection of her parents. A world in which she is free to “express her sexual freedom” however she wants. A world of sexually transmitted diseases and the heartbreak of “Why doesn’t he call?” and the even greater heartbreak of “Could I be pregnant?” A world where it will be up to her to decide if her sexuality is something she wants to reserve for her husband, or throw at anyone who tells her she’s “hot.”
Feminists are big on promoting a woman’s ability to “control their own fertility and sexuality” without considering the most logical example of self-control – abstinence outside of marriage. With the exception of rape, a young woman is perfectly capable of controlling her own sexuality and fertility. All she has to do is keep her knees together. As a beneficial side effect, she is sure to attract only the kind of men who will admire her for what’s between her ears rather than just what’s between her legs. And after all, isn’t that what feminists wanted all these years – to be admired for their brains? Or did I miss something?
In “The Unlikely Disciple,” über-liberal Brown University student Kevin Roose transferred for a semester to Liberty University to marinade in the novel experience of an evangelical atmosphere. Among his many unexpected discoveries is that physical purity enhances the dating experience. “[H]aving preordained physical boundaries takes a huge amount of pressure and anxiety out of the process. … And that’s a very freeing feeling,” he wrote. “When dinner dates aren’t just preludes to hooking up, you end up truly listening to each other. The conversation is the centerpiece, and what emerges is deeper and more intimate than if you had been spending your time trying to Don Juan your way into her bed.”
But feminists don’t want to hear that. They somehow think it’s mature and responsible for young women to hook up with endless numbers of men, rather than give in to the romantic notion that they’re special.
We’ve raised our daughters to value their bodies rather than be careless with them. While our oldest will make her own decisions about her sexual freedom as she transitions into adulthood, she was raised to appreciate purity rather than licentiousness.
Please don’t misunderstand – we would have the same expectations of purity if we had sons. A young man’s ability to control himself sexually speaks well of his maturity, his ability to commit himself to a wife and his potential as a responsible husband and father. Frankly, I find nothing attractive about a man who ruts around before marriage because he may well choose to do the same after marriage.
Feminists scoff at any and all suggestions that women should refrain from premarital sex, somehow implying that just because it’s 2014, biology has been neutralized, women are no longer capable of having babies, and therefore they should be able to sleep around with abandon. But biology hasn’t changed. My daughters know full well that reproductive behavior leads to reproductive consequences. (Growing up on a farm, this fact of life is inescapable.)
Feminists decry that school abstinence-only programs are unrealistic in modern society. Such programs, they whine, merely mean that young women won’t be equipped with the scientific facts of reproduction, thus leaving them vulnerable to unwanted pregnancies. And because of the parent/child disconnect (orchestrated so successfully by the progressive educational system) they may be right. When parents leave the raising of their children to public schools, maybe the best that can be expected is that young people learn how to put condoms on bananas.
After all, if parents do not raise their daughters to value their bodies as more than mere receptacles for randy boys, then all the abstinence programs in the world are unlikely to make a difference. Sadly, girls from these dysfunctional families often grow up to believe abortion is merely another form of contraception with absolutely no physical, emotional, or spiritual repercussions.
“When a girl rejects her natural horror about killing an innocent baby,” noted a commenter,, “and accepts the pro-abortion doctrine as her own, she has become morally corrupted. This corruption causes her to flip good for evil and evil for good.”
Much of the evil that currently pervades society can be squarely laid at the feet of a culture that does not value purity. Consequences include high divorce rates, rampant STDs, abortion and oceans of heartbreak for women who swallowed the lie that chastity is bad.
In fact, young people (men and women) who value purity have a far greater chance of attaining stable, faithful, long-term marriages. What I hope for my daughters is not an endless succession of meaningless hookups that will warp their view of sex and its place in life, but the tender love and long-term commitment of a stable marriage.
Do you honestly think our daughters (and yours) will become better adults by “expressing their sexuality” with a string of men, or by learning to control their impulses for the greater good? Which option is better for their mental and emotional long-term health? When did self-control become something to discard instead of embrace?
As we guide our daughters into maturity, we will continue to infuriate the feminists by teaching them to value sexual purity rather than sexual promiscuity. I can’t help but feel this will give them far greater peace of mind as adults than learning how to affix latex to fruit … or how meaningless it is to abort a baby.
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