“A kiss that rocked the sports world”

That is how the Washington Post headlined its report of pro-football’s first identified homosexual, Michael Sam, and his lover, Vito Cammisano.

When these two posed and passionately kissed each other on their mouths, the Post reported:

“This one drew alternating waves of shock, anger. … ‘Im not watching @espn until this Michael Sam story dies. It’s gross. I’m not tryna watch 2 dudes kiss on a sports show,’ was one of the milder anti-Sam statements on Twitter.”

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the new era in which we should be grateful that these two frenzied male kissers of each other at least have not been further famed by being telecast in the course of their apparent anal and oral intercourse.

But what happens when additional alternative sexual orientations are discovered in National Football Leaguers?

  • What if a Baltimore Ravens’ player were discovered to be an exhibitionist? Would the Ravens organization permit him to expose himself as the St. Louis Rams apparently have no problem with Michael Sam? Or are some sexual orientations permissible – and others should be outlawed?

  • What if the Denver Broncos were to discover that one of their tight ends had three wives? Is polygamy worse than homosexuality – which remains the leading spreader of AIDS?
  • What if the New England Patriots were to discover that their first-string passer was a pedophile – who, when his orientation was discovered, explained that Boston was not only the site of the founding of the North American Man/Boy Love Association but also allowed such man/boy couples to march in parades?
  • What if the Cincinnati Bengals discovered that their first-string center was a necrophiliac – apprehended during his latest illegal entry into a funeral home?
  • What if the Detroit Lions discovered that their best offensive tackle was the secret owner of a 6-month-old brown bear cub – with whom he was engaged in his sexual orientation of bestiality?
  • What if the Atlanta Falcons discovered that one of their two first-string offensive guards had been guarding his continuing intercourse with his sister?

The American Psychiatric Association has published 30 of these alternative sexual orientations.

Why are so many of America’s Old Big Media so dedicated to defending the sodomist orientation (with its distribution of AIDS) and not all of these others?

Media wishing to interview Les Kinsolving, please contact [email protected].

Note: Read our discussion guidelines before commenting.